Breathe
by crimijencer
Summary: Starts in 9x14. What if JJ really was raped? Everything she has is falling apart, and only one person stays consistent in helping her. This story is full of angst at the beginning, but will eventually get lighter. ReidxJJ/Jencer. Warning: Rape. Read at your own risk.
1. Chapter 1: Why

Chapter 1: Why

 **Author's Note: This is my first Criminal Minds fanfiction. This starts on season 7x14 during the 200** **th** **episode. While most of this chapter will be based off this episode, it is vital that you read it because of the minor changes that I will put in here. I know it is boring to read something you have already watched, but please bear with me for this chapter; it sets up the basis for this story. This is a ReidxJJ story, but it will be filled with angst and mentions of WillxJJ.**

JJ's head pounded. The blinding pain ripped through her veins as she felt cold chains tightly wrapped around her wrists. She smelt something… off, yet vaguely familiar. She dared herself to open her eyes, and she allowed the bright lights to enter her vision. When she did, she did not expect to feel the rage that entered her at the site of her sworn enemy. Askari. She tried to jerk the chains off her body, but the restrictions were too strong. She sneered at the man who put her country and so many lives at risk, and he had the audacity to sneer back as he injected the drug into her veins. She fell into the darkness.

When she awoke, she gasped in horror when she saw her former colleague and friend, Mateo Cruz. The sickening man, Askari, held her neck at an odd angle, forcing her to watch her friend suffer.

"They're trying to access integrity. We can't let them HA!" Matt said hurriedly. The words sent fear through JJ.

"You've forgotten: I know exactly how to get what I want." Askari boasted. JJ screamed in pain as the chains were yanked, but the pain was internal more than external.

' _I am going to die,'_ JJ thought. ' _My team will never get to me. They don't know anything about the classified work. And Will. Oh, Will… Oh, god, Henry. I will never see either of my boys again.'_ JJ had to fight the tears at her rambling thoughts.

Minutes later, liquid was burning JJ's flesh. She gasped and screamed in pain. Askari started saying something, but she didn't hear until the end.

"…the sooner this will end. Say yes if you understand." Askari said. JJ's red-rimmed blue eyes gazed up at him in disgust, and JJ bit down on his hand. Hard.

 _'Eat that, bastard.'_ JJ thought. She let a small smirk appear on her lips in victory. _'Just please, Spence, Hotch, someone_ find _me.'_ JJ silently prayed to herself.

She kept getting tortured. She was drowned, and then she was revived only to be drowned again. She just kept holding onto her team and her boys at home looking for her.

She shook violently on the chains as she heard the doors slam. Askari's hands suddenly yanked her hand up.

"Soon." He said. Askari forced her head back down and left the room. JJ was still shaking in anger.

' _Soon is right. You will be dead soon.'_ JJ thought to herself before blacking out.

She felt the electricity course through her veins, and she screamed through her teeth. She gasped in pain, and she saw people carry Cruz away into a room.

"No." she whispered.

"You have five seconds to give me what I want." Askari warned.

"5...4...-"

"You kill him; your plan is ruined." JJ exasperatedly explained.

"3...2..."

"Stop. Counting. No _please._ "

"One."

"No." Gun fire. JJ heard someone scream before realizing it was herself. She sobbed at the thought of her now-dead friend.

"Let her down." Askari said as she gasped in trying to control her sobs. The chains fell to the ground with her. She heard doors slam, but she was sobbing in despair. Mateo was dead. She passed out.

Emily. She stroked her hair.

"JJ. God, you're freezing." Emily said. JJ gasped in relief, and she smiled at her friend.

"Emily," The gasp escaped her lips. "How did you find me?"

"It doesn't matter." Emily responded worriedly, her brown hair dangling around JJ.

"Yeah," JJ made herself nod. "He's taken everything. He can't… I think I might break." Emily's head turned to the side.

"You have to break." Cruz's voice replaced Emily's loving one.

"What?" JJ asked, confused. She then blinked, and Cruz's beaten up face replaced Emily's.

"This has to end." Cruz explained.

"Gosh, I thought-I thought you were dead." JJ managed to gasp.

"I know. They're trying to break you." Cruz explained more.

"I'm seeing things." JJ rubbed her eyes as if to find clarity within them.

"You have to break. You can't take much more of this." Cruz responded.

"No." JJ whispered.

"The time has come to give up your security codes." Cruz told her.

JJ bit her lip as the tears pooled in her eyes.

"I know." She was surprised to hear herself say.

JJ crawled over to the computer, and she cried to herself when she saw the codes were ready to be entered.

"It's okay. It's _okay._ " Cruz's voice assured her, and she looked over at him in the chains. She shook her head, and she entered a code.

"The code's confirmed. Now we just need the second user." A man said after he yanked the laptop violently up.

"I guess we don't need you anymore." She heard Askari say. She didn't even have time to revel in the trick she just pulled on Askari. It was a code, but it wasn't _the_ code. She gasped in sheer fear and horror.

"You kill her; you'll never get my code. Ever." Cruz promised.

"Your code. _Now._ Or this time she loses more than just a baby," Askari began. "YOUR CODE!" Askari yelled with malice. JJ was incredulous.

"Did you tell him I was pregnant?" JJ asked, distrust seeping through her voice.

"Of course not," Cruz promised. "I never told anyone."  
"Okay," JJ shook her head. "That's enough. Come out." JJ demanded.

"Who are you talking to?" Askari asked.

"Not to you, but to your boss. Come out and face me, you coward." JJ demanded with anger shaking in her voice. The tears were threatening to spill. The door slammed. The man who she suspected came through the door with a smirk on his face.

"How did you know?" Hastings asked.

"Askari couldn't possibly know I was pregnant. I didn't tell anyone, not even my husband. I only told Matt. Right before you came to give me that message from the BAU. How long were you listening before you approached?," JJ asked with a shake of her head. "The humvee attack proved I was right about an inside man," JJ said incredulously.

"And look what it cost you." Hastings snapped back.

"Why won't you kill me? Matt won't give you what you want." JJ said with tears of anger and betrayal evident in her voice.

"She's right." Matt agreed.

"Don't I know it." The man said before pulling on the chains causing JJ to be lifted back up. The man approached her.

"But I also know you, Matt, and what line you won't let me cross." The man said. His hands were on JJ's sides. JJ felt disgust course through her body.

"Jareau is your Achille's heel, and I don't blame you. She's… an attractive woman." The man said while he took JJ's face in his hands. JJ sneered in anger.

"Don't touch her, you sick son of a bitch!" JJ heard Cruz demand.

"Maybe I can make you one. Another one." The man said as he lifted her shirt to feel up her impressively toned stomach. She felt her blood begin to boil.

"Take your time, Matt. I've been thinking about this for years." The man said as he started unbuttoning her blouse. JJ shivered in disgust.

"Matt, don't. I'm fine. I'm fine." JJ tried to convince her friend.

"I'm fine. I'm fine." JJ quivered as she felt his disgusting fingers undo the button of her FBI slacks. Matt looked like he was going to say something to protest, but he was quickly knocked out by another man.

"Sadly, Jennifer, it looks like Matt won't be able to give us the code." Hastings said with fake sympathy as he undid the zipper of her slacks. JJ swung her body around, and she bared her teeth in effort to fight what was about to happen. Hastings smirked.

"Jeniffer, baby, save some of the kink for a minute." Hastings said cockily. JJ screamed in defiance, and she bit Hastings' arm. Hard. JJ also tried to pee herself for protection, but since she was so dehydrated, nothing would come out. She cried in despair as she felt the cool air hit her legs, and then her arms. Her undergarments were revealed to Hastings, and she noticed her liked it by the bulge in his pants. She wanted… needed to puke. She thrusted her body forward, and she body-slammed him hard, which knocked him back a few feet.

"Jennifer. Here." Hastings said with false-kindness in his voice. He stuck a needle in her arm, which sedated her. She could use her sense, but she couldn't move. She was about to be raped, and there wasn't a damn thing she could do about it. She felt her undergarments leave her body before the chains were undone and she was carried to another room. She was laid down on a table.

"Jennifer." Hastings moaned as he stripped his boxers and pants from his body. She felt the stinging pain as he violated her in the most intimate of ways. He was raping her.

' _Spence. Where are you?"_ JJ wanted to scream. She could feel Hastings fill her with his semen, and she threw up on the floor before she blacked out.

The lights flickered, and JJ felt a rush of hope. She was fully dressed and hanging on the chains again.

' _They're here.' JJ promised herself._

JJ gasped as she saw what Askari was about to do.

"No! Stop! Matt!" JJ yelled, but the knife went deep into his side. Askari walked over to her, but before he could finish her off for good, she heard the beautiful sounds of gunshots. Tears of relief streamed down her face.

"Ohh!" JJ gasped.  
"Emily; I knew they'd call you. I knew it." JJ was crying. She'd never been so relieved in her life. Emily was really here undoing the chains that bound her.

"Alright, shh." Emily cooed to JJ. It was the most beautiful sounds she'd ever heard.

"Are you okay?" Emily asked.

"I'm fine. Help Matt, please." JJ begged. She bolted out of the room in blind rage. JJ ran towards the sound of gunshots. She saw Hastings, and she darted after him. She climbed stairs like a pro, and eventually, she got to the roof. She shot the man who had just violated her; the one who'd taken everything away. She missed. Emily came up next to her, and she fired some more. Emily ran off after him, and she climbed the stairs. Emily pounced at Hastings, and JJ was now on the roof with them. She kicked him, and she punched, and she eventually pushed him off the roof. She could feel her body starting to fall, too, and her heart was beating so violently she was surprised it didn't burst out of her chest.

' _This is it,'_ JJ thought _'I'm going to die right now.'_

"I got you!" Emily's voice promised. She felt Emily's hand on her arm, and JJ allowed a smile on her face. She looked down at Hastings' dead body before Emily pulled her to safety. JJ immediately embraced her savior into a hug.

The rest of the night was a blur of hugs and tears. She couldn't even remember her conversation with Matt in the ambulance. She just felt empty inside.

 **And that concludes the first chapter. It was brutal and graphic, I know. I will try to steer clear of that for the rest of the story.**


	2. Chapter 2: Aftermath

Chapter 2: Aftermath

 **Author's Note: Thank you so much for the reviews, and I realize I made a silly mistake by putting season '7' instead of season '9'. I am very sorry for the miscommunication. Anyway, this is the next chapter, and it is set *almost* immediately after the last chapter. I hope you enjoy it! By the way, if you keep the reviews coming, that would be great.**

Spencer was quick to volunteer to drive JJ to the station. JJ didn't protest; her face had been impassive since the whole ordeal ended. Surprisingly, she did not feel any emotion. Doctors would say she was in shock, and this time, she would not argue with them.

"Jayje…" Spence began. He looked at her from the driver's seat. She could see the distress and sheer pain on his face.

"Spence, I… I'm okay." She tried to assure him. He stared at her in disbelief, gripping the steering wheel harder. It killed him inside to see her in this pain. It did not take a profiler to realize whatever the sick man did to her damaged her. He reached over, and he gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. JJ tensed up at the unexpected touch; she could almost feel _his_ hands on her. JJ sucked in a sharp breath, and Spencer furrowed his brows. JJ and him had broken the touch barrier years ago; they were best friends.

"I tried to find you sooner, Jayje. I read all of the files from Integrity and the CIA during the year you were involved. I tried; I am so sorry I failed." Spencer spoke softly. He felt an abnormal amount of guilt.

"This isn't your fault, Spence." JJ promised. She took a deep, shaky breath. He kept silent for her for the rest of the drive, but he never stopped watching her odd behavior. When he pulled in, he noticed her tense up a little more. She had been through a lot, though, so he let it slide. JJ glanced over to him with her big, beautiful blue eyes. She looked almost… frightened, but he figured it was normal. Maybe seeing Will would make it all better. Being the gentleman he was raised to be, Spencer exited the car, and he opened JJ's door for her. JJ grabbed his hand, and she exited the car.

"Goodnight, JJ." Spencer said.

"Goodnight, Spence." JJ said. Spencer pulled JJ into a hug. JJ tensed at first, but she quickly relaxed at Spencer's unique scent.

 _'Spencer wouldn't ever hurt you, JJ. Get it together. You're safe now.'_ JJ thought to herself. She tucked her face into her friend's shoulder, and she made her way to the front door. After watching JJ safely make it into her home, Spencer reluctantly drove away leaving his heart secretly with JJ.

"JJ!" Will exclaimed as she walked through the door. She had a black eye, several abrasions on her face, and several bruises throughout her body. Ultimately, he assumed she was okay. He quickly pulled her into a kiss, but JJ immediately tensed up. She forcibly reciprocated the kiss.

 _"This is Will, JJ. Your husband. You_ need _to pull it together.'_ JJ scolded herself. Will didn't seem to notice her indifference though, and he pulled her into their living room.

"MOMMY!" Henry yelled, exhilarated. The boy sprinted into her open arms, and for the first time that night, a genuine smile spread across JJ's lips.

"Hey, baby! I missed you!" JJ said while embracing her six year old. She let tears of joy and relief spill out of her eyes.

"Mommy, did you catch the bad guy?" Henry asked, worried.

"Yes, baby, mommy caught the bad guy." JJ laughed while assuring her son. Will perched against the door ledge; a smile spread across his face.

"What do you think about a movie night tonight? You can pick, Henry." JJ suggested. Henry nodded his head excitedly.

"We watch _Cars_ , mommy?" Henry asked.

"Sure, baby, we can watch _Cars._ " JJ said as she sat the boy down on his feet.

"Will, have you eaten? I can make dinner or…" JJ began, but Will was quick to cut her off.

"You have had a long couple of days, cher, let's just order pizza." Will said before grabbing the phone. JJ smiled at her husband, and she popped the disc in the dvd player. She sat on the couch.

The night flew by, but JJ couldn't sleep. She lied down a lot further from Will than usual, and every time she closed her eyes she could se Askari's face. She could feel Hastings' touch. She got up, and she called the one person she knew would still be up watching sci-fi movies.

"JJ?" Spencer's voice came quickly through the phone.

"Spence." JJ was immediately relieved at the sound of her friend's voice.

"Are you okay? What a dumb question; I am sorry. JJ-" JJ chuckled quietly to herself despite the horrors that rushed through her mind.

"I just needed to here your voice." JJ admitted quietly both to him and herself. Spencer swallowed thickly as his mouth went dry.

' _She doesn't love you, Spencer. She loves Will. Now, be a good best friend, and you help her.'_ Spencer thought to himself.

"You know I'm always here, Jayje." Spencer promised after recovering.

"What he did, Spence. Oh, god. It was bad." JJ said, and the tears started flowing.

"I know, JJ. I know. Why don't you lie down? I can read to you while you fall asleep." Spencer suggested. When he was a little boy, his mother reading to him was the only way he could get over his father leaving.

"Okay." JJ agreed. She just wanted to sleep, maybe peace would find her again. Spencer began the first lines of To Kill A Mockingbird. When JJ's breathing evened out into sleep, Spencer sighed to himself as he hung up the phone. He hated that SOB for hurting her so much.

"Do you not find me attractive anymore, Jennifer? Do I not do it for you?" Will screamed. It was around three weeks after JJ's rescue, and JJ had been denying sex for that long.

"It's not that, Will," JJ said as she ran her hands through her hair. "A lot happened to me…" Will quickly interrupted her.

"JJ, it's been weeks. I don't know what to do, cher. I've taken you to therapy, I let you go out as you please. You've even been comin' home drunk! This is not the JJ I married." Will spat. JJ rolled her eyes, and she slammed the front door. She didn't know where she was going. She found herself outside the local park. She got out of the car, and she sat down against the trunk of an oak tree in front of the lake. She looked around to see if anyone could see before she broke. She was constantly angry or sad, and she'd has a migraine for three weeks. She felt a wave of nausea hit her, and she ran to the woods to release the contents of her stomach. She stood bent over; she heaved as she tried to catch her breath. She fell to her knees in tears. Her breathing escalated, and she was developing a panic attack.

 _'Why did he have to do this to me? I don't understand. And… and… I missed my period two days ago. Oh, god, JJ._ Please _don't be pregnant.'_ Her vision blurred as she knew what she had to do. She quickly ran back to her car, and she hopped into her seat. She absentmindedly drove to a drug store, and she grabbed three of the tests that would determine her fate.

"Emily? I need your help. Are you home?" JJ's voice came hurriedly through Emily's cell phone. Emily's face immediately scrunched in worry.

"Of course, JJ. I'm at home. Come over." Emily encouraged as she stroked Sergio's fur.

JJ quickly pulled into Emily's apartment complex. She ran up the stairs with a grocery bag in her hand. Emily opened the door after she knocked.

"I… I need to use your restroom." JJ stuttered hurriedly. Emily nodded, confused and worried, and she stepped out of JJ's way. JJ finished the tests, and she set the timer. There was a soft knock on the door.

"JJ… are you okay?" Emily's voice filled her ears. JJ's tears were freely flowing down her face uncontrollably, and she choked on her words. JJ unlocked the door, and she let her in. Emily noticed the tests on the counter, and a smile filled her face. The smile was quickly wiped off when she noticed the look of despair on her colleague's face.

"Oh, no, JJ." Emily said quickly putting the pieces together having worked several of these cases. JJ nodded.

"No, no, no, no, that bastard didn't." Emily protested, but she quickly pulled it together when JJ slid down the wall sobbing uncontrollably.

"I'm so sorry, JJ. I'm so sorry." Emily said while embracing her friend and stroking her hair.

"How am I going to tell Will? He's going to know that it isn't his kid. We haven't had sex in over a month." JJ asked worriedly.

"Just tell him the truth. Will will understand if he truly loves you. This _isn't_ your fault, JJ, and now we have even more evidence for the Hastings and Askari trial." Emily stated. JJ nodded.

"Thanks, Em. You really are a good friend. I needed this." JJ said as she stood up. She took the tests with her, and she walked out the door leaving a distraught Emily behind her. JJ got in her car, and she drove home. Henry was at school, but Will was at home.

"Jen, baby, I am sorry about earlier," Will said walking around the corner. JJ's red-rimmed eyes caused him to halt. "JJ, what's wrong?" Will asked worriedly.

"We need to talk." Is all JJ could manage to say. Will obediently followed his wife to their couch.

"What is it, cher?" Will asked impatiently after she sat down cross-legged.

"Will I don't know how to tell you this, so I guess I'm just going to have to come out and say it: I'm pregnant." JJ said. At first, Will's face brightened up in excitement, but then he remembered that they hadn't had sex in a while. His brows furrowed, and then he became angry.

"You've been cryin'. It isn't mine, is it?" Will's voice came out hostile.

"No, but it's not what you think. Hastings… he raped me." Her voice was quick to defend herself and her fidelity to her husband. JJ admitted it for the first time out loud, and she gasped as the tears began streaming down your face. Will's whole demeanor changed as his face softened.

"Oh, Jen. I am so sorry." Will said as he embraced her into a hug. Will quickly got up, and he grabbed the telephone book. He found an abortion clinic number.

"NO!," JJ screamed. "I am _not_ having an abortion."

"Why not? That _thing_ you are growin' is the offspring of a monster." Will said with malice. JJ gasped.

"It isn't the baby's fault that its father is a criminal. It has done nothing wrong!" JJ fired back.

"I don't think I can raise a kid that comes from a man who raped my wife." Will argued.

"The choices that the child's biological father has made isn't their fault." JJ insisted.

"JJ. You're gettin' an abortion 'n that's final." Will commanded. The tone in his voice caused JJ to back up in fear. She could smell the alcohol that was ever-present on his breath. _It's his way of life, my ass._

"Or what, Will?" JJ challenged, furious.

"I don't know yet, but I am making an appointment." Will said as he grabbed the phone book and left the room. JJ screamed, and she fell back onto the couch, utterly exhausted and defeated. She rubbed her stomach unconsciously.

"You also come from me, my little one, and I love you regardless. I'm your mommy." JJ promised her unborn baby.

 **Wow! A lot happened this chapter, but we are just getting started on this long journey of "Breathe." Review, please, and tell me your questions, comments, etc.**


	3. Chapter 3: Treacherous

Chapter 3: Treacherous

 **Author's Note: Ugh… I made a** _ **huge**_ **mistake last chapter! I sometimes write without thinking (hence embarrassingly mixing up chapter '7' and '9', in which I do have an excuse: I was watching an episode of season 7 while typing that. Last chapter I typed chapter '12' instead of '2'. Now, I hope you can forgive me!**

 **To clarify: Yes, Emily still works at Interpol, but she kept her apartment in Quantico as well for when she comes to visit the BAU.**

Will and JJ hadn't talked for a week. The only time they were seen in the same room was at dinner with their son and tucking Henry in at night. Will still insisted on the abortion, but JJ refused regardless. Interpol had allowed Emily to work from home for the time being due to a 'family crisis' which is what it was. JJ had finally returned to work, and she spent her evenings with Emily. Henry loved seeing his aunt, and JJ loved talking to her best girl friend.

"Has Will came around yet?" Emily asked after giving JJ a cup of tea. Emily sat down at on the couch across from JJ.

"No; we haven't had a real conversation in a week! He's always drunk, and now, it's not just beer. I found a bottle of Bourbon hidden in the trash can yesterday, and I found a bottle of Jack hidden under the bed. I don't know what to do anymore." JJ's voice became desperate as she put her head in her hands. Emily sat beside her, and she rubbed her back as she cried.

"Don't cry, mommy." A small voice came from JJ's side. JJ looked up at her son with love and admiration. She pulled Henry into a tight hug.

"I'm sorry, baby. I won't cry anymore." JJ said, a small smile grazing her lips. Henry hugged his mommy's neck tightly.

"Why crying, mommy?" Henry asked, concerned. Emily took her cue to distract Henry from his upset mother.

"Henry, I got you something from London." Emily said, and Henry followed her into the kitchen excitedly. Emily pulled out a bunch of candy bars, and she gave one to an eager Henry.

"What do you say, Henry?" JJ asked as she entered the kitchen.

"Thwank choo." Henry said with a big mouthful of chocolate in his mouth. He smiled hugely at his aunt, but no teeth were seen. Emily and JJ laughed at the kid covered in the sticky, brown substance.

"You sure have your hands full with this one." Emily said as she grabbed a wet napkin. Henry wrinkled his face as his aunt wiped the candy off.

"He keeps me busy, that's for sure." JJ said with a laugh and a shake of her head. The rest of the afternoon was spent in light conversation and lots of laughter.

JJ carried a sleeping Henry through the threshold of her home.

"JJ. You were supposed to be home three hours ago." A drunk Will scolded her as he stumbled around the corner.

"Will, I do _not_ have the time or energy for this." JJ's voice was monotone but annoyed. Will scoffed.

"I made you an appointment, Cher, for tomorrow." Will said as he followed JJ into Henry's bedroom.

"Thanks, babe. Did you use Alison again? She did a good job with Henry, and I think we should keep her in the family." JJ said, oblivious to what he really meant; she was excited that it sounded like Will was warming up to the idea of this baby.

"Not _that_ kind of appointment. I made an appointment to nip our problem in the bud." Will responded. JJ's browed furrowed, not completely following what he meant by that. When she realized what he did, her eyes widened and her head furiously shook.

"You did _WHAT_?!" JJ practically screamed, but she had to refrain herself for Henry's sake.

"I was tired of fighting, Cher, so I figured I would give you the push you needed." Will said with a slight smile. He made the treacherous decision of walking towards her.

"Did you _really_ do that?" JJ asked, hurt. Her voice was shaking and dangerously low. Tears threatened to fall down her face.

"I thought that it would help you get passed what that man did to you…" Will sounded genuine; his intentions were pure. He didn't know about the fact that JJ had already lost one baby to Askari and Hastings. She couldn't lose another one; her heart wouldn't be able to take that kind of loss again.

"If you think that, you really don't know me. In fact, Will, you don't know me. I got pregnant a month after we made our relationship official. Maybe we should take a break. I'm leaving, and I am taking Henry with me. I am _not_ "getting rid" of this baby. This baby is _mine_ , too, as much as you hate me. It will be _over my dead body_ if I lose this baby to a stupid abortion." JJ snapped. She left Will dumbfounded. She grabbed the first bag she could find, and she began throwing clothes into it.

" _Please_ , Cher, I just don't think I can love something made out of hate." Will pleaded from the door.

"It isn't the baby's fault, for the millionth time, Will." JJ said, annoyed.

"I don't want to be reminded that I failed as a husband by not protecting you," This made JJ pause. "This baby is a cursed reminder of that. I know it isn't the baby's fault; the baby just has some bad luck." Will shrugged.

" _Bad luck,_ " JJ scoffed. "Will, how drunk are you?" JJ resumed throwing her stuff in an overnight bag. Will followed JJ into Henry's room, and he watched her pack Henry's stuff quietly.

"Where are you even going to go?" Will whispered into the air.

"Spence has an extra bedroom. He only lives a few blocks away. I will call him on my way out." JJ said, praying Spencer would let them crash there.

"I'm sure he would _love_ that, JJ, wouldn't he?" Will sarcastically said.

"What are you implying?" JJ asked as she turned around and crossed her arms.

"Oh, _nothing,_ JJ." Will said with a roll of his eyes. It was obvious the genius was in love with his wife.

"Spencer is my best friend and Henry's godfather. Spencer would never push me into anything I don't want to do JJ said before scooping Henry up onto her hip. She began walking down the stairs.

"JJ, please don't leave." JJ heard Will whisper from the bottom step. JJ turned around sadly, and she looked him dead in the eye.  
"I have to, Will." She said before grabbing her car keys and walking out the door with her son on her hip and two bags in her hands. She took a deep, shaky breath before pulling out her phone to call Spencer.

"JJ?" A groggy voice came through the phone.

"Hey, Spence. I am sorry I woke you." JJ said apologetically.

"It's okay, Jayje. Are you okay?" Spencer asked, his tone worried.

"No," JJ answered honestly. "Can Henry and I stay with you tonight? I can book a hotel tomorrow, but my head is pounding right now. I don't feel like going through the extra stress and Will-" She rambled.

"JJ," Spencer's voice cut her off. "You are always welcome here. You know that." The sound of his answer let a smile graze her lips.

"Thanks, Spence. You are truly the best." JJ responded. She cranked the car and drove to her friend's house after she hung up.

"JJ." Spencer said after opening the door.

"Hey, Spence." JJ said with a polite smile. Spencer noticed it didn't quite reach her eyes. Spencer took Henry and one of JJ's bags out of her hands. Spencer carried Henry into one of the rooms in his apartment, and he put Henry to bed after kissing his godson's forehead. He found JJ sitting on the couch in his living room.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Spencer asked as he sat down next to her. JJ shook her head as the tears started streaming down her face.

"Oh, JJ, I am so sorry." Spencer said as he pulled JJ into him. JJ sought comfort in Spencer.

"I didn't get a chance to get over what Hastings did to me," JJ said and Spencer stiffened at Hastings' name. "Will and I keep fighting, and I don't know if I can do it anymore."

"Why not, JJ?" Spencer asked, concerned.

"Because Will is pushing me to do something that I don't want to do, plus, you already know about his drinking problem. Except, his problems have escalated into hard liquor, and I do not want to raise my kids in that environment." JJ said, not thinking about how she said "kids" instead of "kid." Spencer definitely caught that, though.

"Kids, JJ?," Spencer asked. "Are you and Will having another kid?" JJ broke down then, holding onto Spencer for dear life.

"It isn't his, Spence." JJ admitted. Spencer stiffened; JJ didn't seem like the person to cheat- actually, he knew she wasn't. His profiler brain put her actions and behavior together, and he nearly threw up when he realized the truth.

"That son of a bitch." Spencer's voice got really high, like it normally did when he was angry. JJ shook in her seat.

"He touched you. He… he… God, JJ. I… cannot fathom. Oh, I want him dead." Spencer was pacing the floor now, a hand running through his hair.

"Spencer, I need you." JJ admitted. She quickly ran up to him, and she hugged him tightly.

"He wants me to abort the baby, but this is still my baby, Spence. I love it already even if it was made that way." JJ admitted, rubbing her lower abdomen. Spencer's words got caught in his throat.

"Oh, JJ. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, beautiful, I promise." Spencer didn't mean to let it slip. He really didn't, but it made JJ love her friend a little more, not that she would ever admit it to herself or him.

"Thank you, Spence." JJ whispered into the crook of his neck. Spencer rubbed circles on her lower back, holding his breath at their closeness. They'd been close before, but this time seemed different.

"Spencer, what he did to me…" JJ whispered into the silence of the night.

"I know, JJ," Spencer cut her off as he felt her tears on his neck. "I wish I could take it back. Replace me with you so that you wouldn't feel this kind of pain. You're the best person I know, JJ. You only deserve happiness and love…" This was so unlike Spencer, but JJ brought out a better side of him. She brought out the side that isn't afraid to connect and show emotion.

"Read to me, Spence?" JJ asked. Spencer was eager to comply, and he picked up where they left off on To Kill A Mockingbird.

Soon, JJ was asleep on Spencer. Spencer sighed, and he placed the book on his coffee table. He picked JJ up, and carried her into the room with Henry bridal style. Spencer tucked JJ in next to his godson, and much like he did with Henry, he kissed her forehead. His lips lingered there a little longer than they were supposed to. As he turned to walk away, he couldn't help but to hear JJ whisper his name in her sleep. Spencer smiled slightly to himself as he walked out the door.

"Oh, JJ. How I wish you could be mine." Spencer said to himself before going to his own bedroom down the hall.

 **Author's Note: That's it. I hope you enjoyed the heartbreaking chapter! Please leave a review on what you think. Until next time…**


	4. Chapter 4: New Beginnings

Chapter 4: New Beginnings

 **Author's Note: Wow! Your reviews are amazing! Thank you so much for that, and trust me, everything is not as it seems in this story.**

"Mommy?," Henry's voice came at her side. JJ moaned at the wake up call. "Why we at Spence's house?" JJ's eyes shot open at this; she hadn't thought of how she was going to explain this to her son.

"Well, daddy had to go to work last night, so I thought it would be fun to spend the night with Spence." JJ explained. She would come up with a better story later. Even though her son was in first grade, he still wasn't old enough to understand everything that was happening.

"COOL!" Henry shouted, and he raced to Spencer's room before JJ could stop him. JJ groaned tiredly before she let her feet touch the ground. She quickly raced after her soon before he could wake up her friend, but Henry was much faster than she gave him credit for.

"Wake up, Spence!" JJ heard Henry shout. JJ heard Spencer moan in protest, and she chuckled quietly to herself.

"Henry… 5 minutes, please buddy?" Spencer begged as he rolled over, exposing his naked chest to JJ and his godson.

"No. Wake up." Henry cutely demanded, crossing his arms and pouting.

"Okay, I'm up, buddy." Spencer said as he sat up and quickly got to his feet. JJ noted how low his pajama pants set on his hips, and she forced herself to look away.

"Sorry, he's a bit of an early-morning riser." JJ explained as she chuckled quietly to herself. Spencer just shook his head as he took in his godson.

"The early bird catches the word." Spencer explained nonchalantly as he followed Henry into his living room. Spencer put Henry on cartoons while him and JJ went into the kitchen to make coffee and breakfast.

"I thought that I would take him to Will's tonight, if he is sober. Will doesn't work on Mondays, so he can spend time with Henry. Plus, it will give me time to figure things out. Three years of marriage is a lot to throw away, but after Askari and Hastings… I just, things are different. Even Will is different, and I think I changed, too…" JJ rambled.

"JJ, you do not have to explain your intentions to me. I just want what is best for you and Henry. What are you thinking, Jayje?" Spencer asked, pulling her a chair out from the table as he retrieved his coffee and her tea mug.

"I don't know, Spence. I feel like I was almost looking for an excuse to leave Will, but in my defense, we have been fighting the past year. The smallest thing sets us off, and now, I really think we are both trying to force something that was never real in the beginning. When I became pregnant, I wasn't in love with Will, and I love him now. Don't get me wrong, but I don't know if I am _in_ love with Will. I don't even know if he is in love with me. Despite our three-year marriage, I feel like we have both coexisted just for Henry, and I don't want that anymore. Henry deserves a house full of genuine love, and Will deserves someone to love him and help him straighten up. Maybe this is for the best." JJ explained.

"What does Will think?" Spencer asked bringing the coffee mug to his lips.

"I… I don't know. I hardly let him get a word in last night. I was just so angry and frustrated. Maybe Will and I should have a real chat tonight when I drop off Henry to find out what our plans are. Will isn't a bad guy, but it's definitely time to make some changes, regardless of what they may be." JJ nodded to herself. That was a good plan.

"If you two fight, don't let Henry hear it, please, JJ," Spencer whispered softly.

"While the separation will slightly mess him up, nothing is worse than two bickering parents. It leads to confusion and pent up anger." JJ nodded to herself.

"I just love Henry so much; I'd hate it if this messes with his head." JJ said as she put her head in her hands.

"It is better than raising him in a house with the wrong kind of love. JJ, you are a wonderful mother, and Will is a good father. Everything is going to work out for the best." Spencer promised her. JJ smiled in thanks.

"I hope so. I wouldn't be able to take it if Henry grew up to resent me." JJ said as she took another sip of her tea.

"Henry loves you, JJ. You know that." Spencer said, distressed.

"I know… it's just if this messes Henry up in anyway…" JJ trailed.

"It will mess with him at first, JJ," Spencer finally gave her the truth. "Henry is going to know why mommy and daddy don't live together anymore; he's not going to understand it. If you decide that you and Will can't do this anymore, Henry is going to be the most vulnerable. You have to remember that," JJ let silent tears fall down her face. "But, JJ… in the long run, staying with Will would mess him up more. Nothing is set in stone yet; you and Will still have a chance to work things out." Spencer's heart shattered as he tried to give the love of his life encouragement. How badly he wanted to scoop her up completely in his arms and kiss her with all the love he had for her. He couldn't do that, though, he'd lost his chance three years ago. Spencer pulled his friend into his arms. She relaxed into them subtly.

When JJ took Henry back to their house, she was surprised to see Will completely sober.

"Hey, cher. We need to talk." His thick, Cajun accent greeted her from the door.  
"Daddy!" Henry excitedly exclaimed.

"Hey, buddy!" Will greeted as he took his son into his arms. Will eventually put his son down, and Henry ran off to play with his toys in his room.

"Jayje, cher, I've been thinking." Will explained as he sat down on the couch. JJ took a seat down next to her husband.

"Me too." JJ agreed.

"I love you JJ, honestly, but lately it's been like walkin' around on pins 'n needles 'round here. We been fightin', and I know it ain't good for Henry to hear it. I don't know what's goin' on." Will explained, his blue eyes boring into hers.

"I love you too, Will, but honestly, we can't continue forcing what was never there in the begin with. I was pregnant before we knew each other, and a year of my marriage I wasn't even in the states. We've just coexisted. I want to be _in_ love, but I can't continue to force this any longer." JJ explained.

' _Please don't hate me. Please don't hate me.'_ JJ silently prayed to herself.

"Oh, JJ. I feel the same way, honestly. I do, love you, but it isn't like what my mom 'n dad had growin' up. I think we both deserve that. Plus, I _hate_ it here. I miss New Orleans, JJ, it's my home, but what about Henry?" Will asked.

"I want to give Henry an example of genuine love. I want Henry to be able to have an example so that when he gets old enough he knows what true love looks like." JJ responded.

"I'm sorry, JJ, about tryin' to force an abortion on you. That wasn't right n' I can't imagine goin' through what you did. I am sorry I failed as a husband not helpin' you through that." Will apologized.

"It's all water under the bridge now, Will." JJ said as she kissed his cheek.

"Thanks, cher." Will responded.

"Is that it, then?" JJ asked, a pang in her heart at the slight loss of her long-term partner.

"It's for the best, JJ. Should we get lawyers?" Will asked her, and she willed the tears not to fall.

"I think we could settle for mediators; it'd be easier on Henry. We can work out a custody arrangement even with you living in New Orleans. I get free airfare, so it won't be a heavy financial strain." JJ explained, swallowing the bitter sweetness of the situation.

"When do you want to do this?" Will asked, grabbing JJ's knee in comfort.

"I… I don't know. Whenever works for you." JJ choked out.

"I know this hurts, JJ. It hurts me, too, but we can do this. Soon, we will both be happy." Will said softly. JJ nodded.

"I'm sorry it had to end this way." JJ said before walking up the steps to tell her son goodnight.

"I'll find a mediator, and I will let you know tomorrow when you get off work." Will said before JJ could leave. JJ just gave Will a soft knock before walking out the door to her future. Her heart was heavy, but she knew that this was what had to be done.

"Spence." JJ called as she walked through the door of his apartment.

"Hey, Jayje. How'd it go?" Spencer carefully asked. JJ's shoulders slumped.

"Actually… a _lot_ better than expected, but it's still hard." JJ whispered to her closest friend.

"I know, JJ. Did you guys work it out?" Spence asked.

'God, JJ. If you only knew how beautiful you look tonight.' Spencer thought to himself. He had to shake his head to clear his thoughts away from the blonde currently taking off her black coat and hanging it on his coat rack.

"Yeah… he's getting a mediator tomorrow," JJ responded as she looked at Spencer shaking his head. "You alright, Spence?"

"Yeah… yeah, JJ. I'm good. Is that what you want, JJ? A divorce?" Spencer asked her slowly.

"I mean… I know it needs to happen. Neither of us are happy in our marriage. I just wish I didn't feel like a lost a friend tonight." JJ explained.

"Well, JJ, at least you are going to be happier." Spencer responded. His heart ached for her.

"Can we finish To Kill A Mockingbird tonight?" JJ asked as they made their way to the sitting room.

"Of course, Jen." Spencer agreed as he picked up his copy of the book. He sat down on the couch, and she layed down on him innocently.

' _Oh, Jeniffer, if you only knew the affect you have on me.'_ Spencer thought to himself. As he approached the last page of the book, he glanced down at the blonde noticing she was asleep. He smiled softly to himself as he placed the book down on the table. He stroked her soft hair once before carrying her into the bedroom she was staying in. He softly kissed her cheek, and he turned off the light. He stared at he sleeping form illuminated by the moon casting through the windows. Genuine beauty.

' _I love you, Jeniffer.'_ Was his hushed whisper into the night. He silently prayed that one day she'd come to know the way he truly felt about her.

 **Author's Note: I am not very pleased with this chapter, but I hope I gave Will back some humanity. Will is** _ **not**_ **the bad guy. Next chapter, I am going to branch out into the other characters because they're going back to work! Anyway, please review, and thank you so much for continuing this ride known as "Breathe."**


	5. Chapter 5: Old Endings

Chapter 5: Old Endings

 **Author's Note: New chapter already? I am just as excited about this story as you are! Thank you so much for the reviews you are leaving;** _ **please**_ **keep them coming. I am starting to lose my inspiration. Anyway, I hope you enjoy chapter 5.**

JJ awoke the next day to Spencer softly shaking her.

"Jayje, you have to wake you. We have work today, and I know you like to go to the gym before it." Spencer said. JJ slowly arose, and she gladly accepted the cup of tea Spencer had in his hand.

"Thanks, Spence." JJ said as she stood up completely.

"Agh." JJ moaned as she toppled over her side, completely dropping the tea.  
"JJ!" Spencer hollered as he picked his best friend up and sat her on the bed. JJ took deep, sharp breaths.

"Are you okay? What's wrong? Is it the baby?" Spencer's voice came out hurriedly, and his hand held her stomach protectively.

"I had them a lot with Henry. I'm okay. I'm sorry about the tea…" JJ trailed looking at the mess on his hard wood floor. Spencer stood up quickly, and he bolted out the door only to come back with a towel seconds later.

"No, Spence. It's my mess. I want to clean…" Spencer cut her off by placing his palms on her thighs and hovering over her.

"No, JJ. You're in pain. It's no problem for me to clean it up." Spencer stuttered nervously, just noticing their close proximity. Meanwhile, JJ hated being babied. Hated feeling vulnerable and helpless like she was now, but it was her Spence. She didn't want to blow up on him for simply worrying. If it were him, she'd be the same way, too, so she couldn't justify herself if she blew up on him.

"Thanks." She eventually uttered as she noticed him on his hand and knees cleaning up the mess she'd made.

"Do you want a ride to the gym? Should you even be going to the gym?" Spencer asked her.

"You know, actually, I think I am going to skip it today. I'll just see if Morgan wants to spar later." JJ admitted. Spencer nodded, relaxing himself.

"I'll go make you another cup of tea." Spencer said, dismissing himself. When he left, JJ collapsed back on the bed, letting a few tears escape. She'd had another nightmare last night. She forced herself up, and she practically bolted to the shower conjoined with the room. She turned it on as hot as it would go, and invited the burn on her skin. She liked it. She wasn't a masochist, but this was the only way she could get the ghost of Hastings' touch off of her. She scrubbed her skin until it was raw, finally satisfied that she couldn't feel him anymore. She snorted when she saw she'd made her legs bleed. When she got out, she put lotion on herself and dressed in all-black. It seemed fitting for the day.

The team piled into the briefing room. It was just a day to catch up on paper work. The team was on temporary stand-down for a week.

"Hey, peaches. Coffee?" Garcia offered JJ the warm cup of heaven.

"Um, no thank you, Garcia. I already had some back at the apar- _house._ " JJ corrected herself. She wasn't ready for the entire team to know about her personal occurrences just yet.

"You almost said apart-" Garcia was cut off by Hotch and Rossi walking into the room. They took their seats. JJ sat between Spencer and Alex to avoid further interrogation from her tech friend.

"Emily." JJ greeted through the phone. She was sitting in Morgan's office waiting on him and Spencer to come back with lunch.

"JJ. How have you been?" Emily asked uneasily.

"I've been…," JJ said. "Oh, Emily it's been a lot."

"I know, JJ. Have you talked to Will recently? I know it's probably hard."

"Yeah, we… we talked last night. He's getting a mediator today. Our divorce should be official within a few weeks according to what Will just texted me." JJ explained. Emily gasped.

"Oh, JJ. I'm sorry; you're going through so much." Emily's voice came through empathetically.

"I think this is for the best, Em. I just feel suffocated. I just need something… anything good to happen. I need to breathe, and I can't. I still feel him, and even though I do love this baby, it is a reminder of that horrible thing he did." JJ cried into the phone.

"I know, sweetie. I know. Hey, you have Spencer there to help you. I am sorry I am not there, JJ… I feel horrible about letting you go through this without me. I am always just a plane ticket away. You know I will always come when you need me." Emily vowed.

"Thanks, Em. You're the best." JJ said with a smile for one over her favorite people in the world.

"Anytime. Call me soon." Emily responded before ending the phone call. JJ sighed and leaned back further into Morgan's tall leather chair. She didn't realize it, but she fell asleep instantly, the emotions exhausting her.

She awoke to the smell of Chinese food filling her nostrils. Spencer was beside her in an instant.

"You okay?" He whispered silently. JJ nodded, but Spencer didn't completely buy it.

"Good morning, sleepyhead." Morgan joked with his large grin stretched out on his face.

"Sorry about that, Derek, but your chair is abnormally comfortable." JJ said sheepishly before standing up. She toppled over in pain again like she did in the morning.

"Ahh." JJ hissed. She grabbed her lower abdomen, and Spencer quickly pulled her into a chair.

"JJ… that's the second time today." Spencer uttered worriedly, forgetting about Morgan's confused presence watching everything that was going on.

"I'm fine, Spence. It was like this with Henry." JJ shrugged Spencer's unneeded attention off.

"Wait… are you and Will having another kid?" Morgan asked with a huge grin plastered on his face. JJ and Spencer stiffened. JJ gave Spencer a deer-in-headlights look.

"Uhhh…" JJ started.

"That's great, JJ. No one will here it from me." Morgan said putting two hands up in defeat as he took his seat. JJ sighed.

' _It won't be long before I will have to explain everything. Maybe I could get Spence to come with me to talk to Hotch?'_ JJ wondered to herself. She looked over at her friend that was currently eating and reading a pretty large novel.

"Spence." JJ called from her desk in the bullpen. Spencer rushed hurriedly over to JJ.

"Yeah, JJ?" Spencer asked curiously.

"I really hate to ask you this, but I don't want to do this alone." JJ said sheepishly as she glanced over to Hotch and back at Spencer. Spencer was quick to pick up on the message.

"Of course, JJ." Spencer responded following JJ to Hotch.

"Hotch? May I talk to you in your office? It's regarding Askari and Hastings." JJ stated professionally. Hotch gave an uneasy nod, and he led them both into his office.

"I take it Reid is involved as well?" Hotch asked skeptically before sitting down behind his desk.

"Kind of, sir. It is quite complicated." JJ responded before she and Spencer to their seats as well.

"Anyway, JJ, please proceed." Hotch encouraged with a wave of his hand. He had picked up on JJ's unusual behavior since the incident had occurred.

"Well, sir… when I was with Hastings… he… well…," JJ was having a really time getting this out. It was awkward and uncomfortable to talk to her boss about what the monster had truly done to her. Spencer reached over, and he gave her an encouraging squeeze on the hand. JJ took a deep breath, put her professional mask on, and she just went for it. "He raped me." JJ finished. Hotch immediately bolted out of his desk, and he leaned over closer to JJ. Rage was apparent in his eyes.

"I need to make a few phone calls, JJ. I _will_ get justice for you even if it is over my dead body." Hotch vowed, incredulous to the news he'd just received.

' _Why, God? Why must it be my team… my_ family _that has to go through all this hell?'_ Hotch though with a shake of his head.

"That's not all, sir." Reid said quietly while JJ wiped a few tears away and collected herself.

"You see, Hotch, I'm… pregnant." JJ whispered. Hotch stiffened up further.

"JJ…" Hotch began, but JJ cut him off.

"Will and I are also filing for divorce this afternoon. It will be finalized within the next few weeks. Anyway, I thought you'd like to know. It is protocol, after all. I hope you can forgive me for leaving the rape out of my report. I can redo it if you would like." JJ offered, but she silently prayed he wouldn't make her write the hell she'd went through down on paper.

"That won't be necessary, JJ. Would you like some more time off?" Hotch asked. He didn't know what to say. He was in disbelief of what this strong young woman had just went through by herself.

"No thank you, sir. I am ready to be back in the field." JJ assured him. Hotch nodded skeptically, and he studied Spencer.

"Why was Reid necessary for this conversation?" Hotch asked.

"He was mainly here for moral support, and I am staying at his house until Will moves to New Orleans." JJ explained. Hotch just nodded.

"If you need anything, my door and my home is always open to you." Hotch promised before dismissing the both of them. JJ grabbed her stuff quickly, and Spencer obediently followed her to the car.

JJ was a mess. She was again found sobbing in Spencer's arms as he whispered soothing words into his friends ear. She closed her eyes, and she just breathed in Spencer's smell and listened to the sound of his voice. Immediately, she was relaxed and fell into a deep sleep.

"JJ, you need to wake up if you want to get to the mediator in time." Spencer shook her softly. JJ woke up with a gasp. She just nodded, brushed her hair, grabbed her car keys, and walked out the door.

"Henry, your dad and I need to talk to you." JJ said as she walked into the house that night. Her and Will had an easy time at the mediator, and everything was sorted out. Actually, since they were so easy on everything, the divorce would be finalized in a week. She was relieved that it would be less stress off of her shoulders, but the hard part was about to begin with explaining to Henry that this wasn't his fault and he wasn't being abandoned. Henry ran quickly to the kitchen table and took a seat between his parents.

"Yes, mommy?" Henry asked.

"Sweetie, some changes are going to be made around home." JJ explained softly.

"Like what?" Henry asked curiously.

"Well, buddy, I am goin' back to live in New Orleans." Will told his son. Henry's eyes widened.

"We're moving?" Henry asked his mommy.

"No, buddy. I'm staying here, but your dad is moving." JJ explained to her son.

"Why?" Henry asked sadly.

"Well, bud, all of my friends are back in New Orleans, 'n I have a better job there." Will told his son.

"Oh." Was all Henry could utter, his eyes cast downwards.

"What are you thinking?" JJ asked her son. Her and Will were trying to teach Henry to open up to them because normally Henry was a shy and quiet child.

"Will I not see daddy anymore?" Henry asked his mother.

"No, baby, of course you're going to see daddy!" JJ promised.

"When?" Henry asked.

"Well… you will go see daddy a month of Summer and most school breaks. Other than that, you are staying here." JJ tried to explain to her son.

"Oh. So I live in New Orleans and here?" Henry asked, trying to comprehend what he was being told.

"Yes." JJ said.

"You and daddy don't live together anymore? My friend Charlie said his parents got a divorce, and they don't live together anymore. Did you and daddy get a divorce?" Henry asked sadly.

"Honestly, bud, yes." Will responded solemnly. He didn't want to lie to his son. Henry's eyes drooped.

"Why?" The boy asked.

"We… we just don't have the right kind of love that mommys and daddys should have." JJ responded. Will nodded in agreement.

"Oh, so you guys find right love?" Henry asked, his mood picking up slightly.

"We're going to try, bud." Will responded.

"Okay," Henry said. "When do you go to New Orleans?"

"In a few days, bud," Will said sadly. "but you're going to come stay with my for a _whole month_ when school lets out in a few weeks." Will said.

"Can we go fishing like you always talked about?" Henry asked excitedly.

"Of course, buddy! As much as you want." Will promised.

"Are you okay, Henry?" JJ asked.

"I'm sad, but I want mommy and daddy to find right love, so I'm happy for you." Henry exclaimed. His selflessness brought tears to JJ's eyes. JJ pulled her son into a tight embrace.  
"Do you know how much I love you, my baby star?" JJ asked.

"I love you too, mommy." Henry responded pulling his mother in tighter.

"It's time to brush your teeth and go to bed. Goodnight, Henry, I love you very much. I have to go now." JJ bid her son farewell with a tight hug and a kiss goodnight. She watched him run up the stairs to brush his teeth before turning to Will.

"He took it a lot better than I thought he would." JJ said relieved.

"He's strong like his mother." Will's charisma shone through. JJ just shook her head with a smile.  
"I'm sorry we didn't work out." JJ uttered.

"Me too, JJ." Will agreed. JJ left after hugging Will.

"How'd it go?" Spencer asked as JJ walked through the door.

"A lot better than I thought, actually. It's probably good I have less stress on this baby. I think that is what caused those cramps." JJ said as she dropped her keys on the table.

"How'd Henry take it?" Spencer asked with concern for his godson.

"Pretty well; I am so proud of who he's becoming, Spence." JJ said as fresh tears threatened to spill from her eyes.

"I am too. It's a good thing he knows that he's not getting abandoned. Now he has two genuinely happy parents that love him more than the world." Spencer said with a smile.

"And a little sibling on the way." JJ said as she rubbed her abdomen lightly.

"Do you want me to read you another story?" Spencer asked, knowing it was her favorite way to relax.

"Please." JJ responded as she took her usual spot in Spencer's lap. She quickly dozed off before Spencer finished the last chapter of Treasure Island. Spencer, as per usual, carried her to bed. He kissed her forehead softly, but this time he whispered something as he kissed her forehead. He made sure she was in deep enough sleep she wouldn't hear it, though.

"I love you, JJ." Spencer whispered against her soft pale skin. He smiled to himself as he turned off her lights and went to sleep himself.

 **Author's Note: Loved it? Hated it? Let me know in a review! Hopefully, I portrayed everything like you imagined it, and Will is starting to understand JJ a little better. Poor, Spencer, though. Maybe JJ will find out soon…**


	6. Chapter 6: Safe

Chapter 6: Safe

 **Author's Note: Thank you for all the reviews! Especially a shoutout to blackbirdjeid because you are awesome, and you keep me motivated! I appreciated all of the reviews, and yes, Henry is what I want in a son. He's just so adorable! Anyway, enjoy this chapter…**

JJ awoke the next day to Spencer shaking her again. She sat up, this time without pain, and she tugged him into a tight embrace immediately. She reveled in his warmth consuming her senses. When she pulled back, Spencer was rendered speechless.

"What was that for, JJ?" Spencer asked, perplexed.

"Thank you, Spence. I don't deserve you." JJ whispered.

"You deserve the world, JJ." Spencer whispered back honestly, nervous for her response. He couldn't believe he'd said that out loud with her wide awake. JJ's heart fluttered at her friend who was nervously looking down at the ground. She pulled him in a tight embrace again. She took in his smell. He smelt so good. He smelt like the woods, coffee, and an old book. This basically summed Spencer up pretty well, and she appreciated the strange concoction.

"JJ, it's time to get ready for work again." Spencer whispered from where his chin was resting on the top of her head.

"I really don't want to go." JJ complained. She just wanted to stay safe in Spencer's arms forever. Sleep was still calling to her, and she was still feeling a little crampy. Her organs were literally shifting inside of her, and that freaked her out a little.

"I made some bacon and eggs for you." Spencer offered. JJ perked up at the mention of food. Her appetite had at least doubled since she was pregnant.

"Food?" JJ asked adorably. Spencer chuckled at his friend, and he led her into the kitchen. JJ thought that the food was a good idea until she got a whiff of the eggs. Her stomach churned fast, and she bolted for the bathroom. Spencer, being the caring _friend_ he was, quickly followed her. He held back her hair, and he tried to hide his discomfort in the unsettling situation. JJ dry heaved into the toilet, and she wiped her mouth with toilet paper.

"You didn't have to do that, Spence. I am not your responsibility." JJ offered.

"You're my friend, JJ. Of course I did." Spencer responded, blinking a couple of times with it. JJ offered him a tight-lipped smile as she put the toothpaste on her toothbrush.

"Um… yeah… I'm just going to go throw out the eggs." Spencer shuffled awkwardly. JJ offered him an apologetic smile as she watched him walk through the door. She rubbed her abdomen slowly.

"You're killing me, kid." JJ told her baby before exiting the bathroom to get ready for work.

"Hey, JJ. Spencer." Derek offered his friend his million-dollar smile. He slipped JJ some tea.

"Thanks, Derek." JJ thanked him. He nodded to her. Spencer followed JJ and Derek into the bullpen. It was just another day of paperwork and case files. Well, for everyone except Derek, who slipped the majority of his into Spencer's stack.

The week passed on as usual, and JJ was getting more nervous. The papers that would be entering the mail anytime now. Henry would be coming over that night. It was a Friday. The work day passed on agonizingly slow, but JJ reveled in it since it would be the last day for a while that the team was on stand-down.

"JJ, what time were you thinking about getting Henry?" An eager godfather asked her. She sighed as she looked at her watch.

"I was thinking right around now. Do you want to come with me?" JJ asked innocently. Spencer nodded up and down quickly. JJ giggled softly and grabbed her keys to get her son.

"Hey, JJ. Spencer." Will greeted from the door way.

"Hey, Will." JJ greeted him. Spencer gave Will an awkward wave. It was never completely warm between the two.

"SPENCER!" An excited boy shouted running into his godfather's arms. Spencer scooped him up.

"Hey, buddy. Did you have fun with your dad?" Spencer asked.

"Yeah! We built an airplane that can fly with a remote!" Henry exclaimed excitedly.

"That's awesome buddy! Can I see?" Spencer asked him. Henry nodded.

"Hey, mommy!" Spencer told his mother. JJ sent him a sly smirk.

"I thought you were forgetting about me, baby." JJ said as she took her son into a hug.

"I'm sorry, mommy. Forgive me?" Henry apologized adorably. JJ smiled down at her son.

"Of course." JJ agreed. Henry gave her an excited smile, but he quickly tugged Spencer into his bedroom to show him what he had built with his father.

"The papers came in today." Will said nonchalantly.

"So it's official?" JJ asked, a hurt feeling still lingering inside.

"It's official. Actually, I am moving this weekend like we planned." Will informed his now ex-wife. JJ nodded solemnly.

"Will you need help?" JJ offered. Will shook his head in refusal.

"Nah, I'm good, cher. I'd just like to swing by before I leave to tell Henry goodbye." Will said.

"Of course." JJ agreed.

"And I still get him in two weeks when school lets out, correct?" Will asked. JJ nodded.

"For a month." JJ said.

' _A month without Henry is going to be sad.'_ JJ thought to herself.

"For what it's worth, JJ, this is the start of the rest of our lives." Will offered. JJ gave him a small smile.

"Can we go to Spencer's now?" Henry asked his mom as he and Spencer entered the room.

"Yeah." JJ said as she offered Will a smile and walked out of the door.

When they got there, the trio made popcorn and watched a movie together. JJ discreetly snuggled into Spencer's side, needing the comfort only he could offer in a time like this.

"When we inevitably get a case this week, Henry is going to stay with Jessica. Hotch offered, and Jack and Henry get along so well that it seemed like a good idea." JJ whispered to Spencer.  
"That's a good thing. I was worried about how this was going to play out when we got cases; this is a good thing." Spencer said. JJ could literally see his face relax more.

' _How much stress am I putting on him?'_ JJ wondered solemnly to herself. JJ rubbed her friends shoulder unknowingly. She felt so bad for piling all of her drama on top of him. When Henry finally fell asleep, JJ carried him into the guest bedroom and tucked him in. When she exited, Spencer offered her a glass of wine on the couch. JJ eagerly accepted. She looked at Spencer's worried face, and she let the tears escape.  
"Spence, I…" JJ tried to explain herself, but she was cut off by a pair of arms wrapping around her waist to pull her closer.

"Shh, Jayje. I know. It's okay. You're safe here. I'll always keep you safe." Spencer vowed into the hair his lips were currently resting on. JJ curled into his side, taking her favorite position in the world.

"God, Spence. What would I ever do without you?" JJ mumbled into his now-damp chest. She could hear his heart beat. She could feel his deep breaths with the rise and fall of his chest. She could smell him. Hell, she could almost _taste…_

' _Stop it, JJ. You stop it_ now _. You're treading in dangerous waters.'_ JJ warned herself. She quickly relaxed into the arms of her friend again.

"I'm relieved it's over, but it still hurts. Plus, I've been having these nightmares." JJ explained.

"Oh, JJ. Why didn't you come and get me?" Spencer asked his friend, distressed.

"I didn't want to bother you." JJ softly confessed.

"You'll never bother me, JJ. Especially now. You need me, and I'm right here." Spencer mumbled.

"Read to me, Spence." JJ asked.

"Always." Spencer swore as he picked back up Treasure Island. JJ, of course, was sound asleep within minutes. Spencer sighed to himself, and he carried her to the bed. This time, Spencer sat down on the edge of the bed hovering over JJ.

"I'll keep you safe, JJ." Spencer vowed to her before pressing a loving kiss on her forehead.

"Spence?" A small voice asked. Spencer froze as he kissed JJ's forehead, eyes wide. He'd been caught.

"Yes, Henry?" Spencer asked after he collected himself and pulled off JJ.

"Do you love mommy?" Henry wondered. Spencer smiled to himself as she stroked JJ's sleeping cheek.

"More than she'll ever know." Spencer admitted out loud.

"Mommy and daddy said they have to find the right kind of love. I think you're mommy's prince or true love." Henry admitted before yawning. Spencer's heart swelled at the analogy the little boy had put into play.  
"I hope so, Henry, but can we keep this a secret between us? I don't want your mommy to find out just yet." Spencer admitted to the boy.

"I promise, Spence." Henry swore to his godfather. Spencer smiled at Henry before shutting off the light and exiting the hallway. If only Henry knew just how much his words meant to Spencer. He loved Henry and JJ more than words could explain.

"Spence." JJ grunted. Hastings was chasing them both. His malevolent grin looked down on JJ.

"Who's it going to be: you or your pathetic friend here?" Hastings growled.

"Me." JJ screamed. Hastings snickered.

"Me," JJ pleaded. "Just don't touch him. Please, don't touch him. Spence."

"Watch me." Hastings was replaced by Askari. Askari quickly picked up the electricity, and she watched Spencer's form become lifeless under the electricity.

"Spence!" JJ screamed loudly.

"JJ. JJ. Wake up, _please._ " Spencer pleaded as he shook his friend. She'd heard her call out for him in her sleep. Eventually, JJ bolted awake to find Spencer hovered over her. She tugged Spencer down on top of her completely, hugging him so tight he couldn't breathe.

"He's alive. He's alive. He's alive. He's alive." JJ tried to convince herself while stroking his soft hair.

"I'm here, JJ. Always. I will never leave you." Spencer promised. He could feel JJ's hot tears pool on his neck.

"Don't leave, Spence." JJ plead as she slid over to make some room. Spencer contemplated with himself for a moment. JJ was inviting him into her bed. How could he ever refuse her? Spencer slid awkwardly under the covers, and JJ immediately layed her head down on his chest. She was only relaxed when she could hear the thunder of his heart roaring through his chest.

"He's alive." Was her last coherent whisper and thought before she was taken into the dream land that wasn't full of the monsters that haunted her.

JJ woke up to the smell of pancakes the next morning. She noticed both side of her bed were empty, and she found her son and friend in the kitchen making breakfast.

"Goodmorning mommy." Henry said with a smile as he handed her a cup of tea.

"Thank you, Henry!" JJ praised her son immediately. She faced Spencer. He offered her a smile in return.

"Pancakes, Jayje?" Spencer asked as he handed her a plate.

"Please." JJ agreed taking the plate out of his hands and sitting down next to Henry at the table.

"I didn't want to wake you, mommy, so Spencer and I decided to surprise you by making pancakes!" Henry boasted proudly.

"Delicious ones at that." JJ said with a smile before taking a bite.

The rest of the weekend was pretty mundane, and Spencer wound up in JJ's bed again after a similar nightmare occurred that night. Spencer didn't complain a bit, though. When Will came over to say goodbye, it was hard on Henry.

"I'm sorry buddy, but in _two weeks_ you can come and we can do anything you want to do. I promise." Will vowed to his son.

"Promise?" Henry asked skeptical.

"Cross my heart." Will said with a smile. Henry hugged his father one last time, and Will left for New Orleans after that. Spencer pulled JJ into an embrace, knowing this was all too much at one time.

That night, Spencer read Treasure Island to JJ as usual.

"Can I stay here for the rest of the week? I don't want to go home." JJ admitted.

"You're always welcome here, JJ. You know that." Spencer promised his favorite person in the world. JJ smiled, and she ran her hand through his hair. Spencer gasped at the affectionate display.

"I don't think I could do any of this without you." JJ whispered.

"You're the strongest woman in the world, JJ," Spencer said while adjusting himself so JJ's legs were in his lap. "You can do anything. Survive anything."

' _How much I would give to kiss her into oblivion right now.'_ Spencer thought to himself as JJ looked up at him in amazement. JJ's hand traveled south to his shoulder's, and she gave one of them a squeeze. That one gesture said everything to him. Maybe Henry was right. Time would bring the two where they needed to be.

' _I don't know if it's the pregnancy hormones or what, but Spencer seems like a stronger need now than ever. I would never do that, though. Spencer could have anyone in the world; he doesn't want some physically scarred knocked-up girl from Pennsylvania. Plus, I don't think I could ever be involved with anyone else again after Hastings…'_ JJ thought to herself. JJ moaned in approval as Spencer began massaging her head. All of the lingering stress of the day seemed to disappear with one small touch from the genius. She didn't even remember deciding to fall asleep. Spencer carried her to bed once again with a new hope arising in his heart.

"I love you, JJ, and hopefully soon you will know just how much." Spencer whispered before kissing her forehead. He was sure he'd wind up in his usual spot due to the recurring nightmares eventually, but he left the room for a while to collect his thoughts.

"Could it be that she loves me too?" Spencer asked with a small smile on his lips.

 **Author's Note: So this was kind of a filler chapter. I am not quite ready for the climax of this story, so I may have a couple of these. I hope you are liking JJ and Spencer's budding relationship, though. Too bad both of them are too stubborn to admit anything. Ugh! What is going to drive them enough over the edge to admit their true feelings? Find out soon!**

 **Loved it? Hated it? Questions? Comments? Let me know in the reviews!**


	7. Chapter 7: Black Hole

Chapter 7: Black Hole

 **Author's Note: Thank you all for the reviews once again! Wow, all of you are amazing. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

JJ laughed with her best friend as they entered the bullpen. Spencer was busy telling her about how he and Henry had built a fort in his backyard while she was out running errands.

"And then Henry decided it would be funny to…" Spencer was cut off when his eyes met the people standing in the middle of the bullpen. Suddenly, the lights were killed. JJ's laughter quickly cut off, and she followed Spencer's trail of site. Her heart dropped at what she saw. It was Askari and Hastings hovering over their lifeless team. A smirk was present on both of their lips, and Askari dropped his knife.

"If it isn't our lovely Jennifer." Askari's thick accent rolled off his tongue. JJ wanted to vomit as she met his eyes.

"And you must be Spencer." Hastings said maliciously. Suddenly, they both flashed in front of Spencer and JJ.

"Yes, and now it is time to finish our final act, Askari. Don't you think it would be more fun to let Jennifer watch the love and life leave the eyes of this… pathetic excuse for a man first?" Hastings' thick voice came out in a deep grumble. JJ gasped and leaped in front of Spencer, as to guard his tall body from her petite one.

"Over my dead body." JJ growled.

"That, my love," Askari's voice became husky. "Can _definitely_ be arranged." He was stroking her arm now. JJ slapped his hand away. JJ screamed as she turned around to see Hastings' knife pierce Spencer's side.

"This way, he can watch our passionate escapades while he dies slowly." Hastings grumbled. He then walked toward JJ, and he pinned her to the wall. JJ felt his sick lips on the side of her neck. His hand was slowly traveling down her pants…  
"No. Please. No. Spence. No." JJ sobbed.

"JJ. JJ. Please, wake up." An incoherent voice filled JJ's ears. She tried to go towards it.

"Come on, JJ. It's just a dream. Wake up." Spencer begged. His head rested in the crook of her neck as he whispered in her ear trying not to wake her sleeping son up.

"Spence." JJ's voice was relieved as she pinned him down towards her.

' _It's my job to keep you safe, too.'_ JJ thought. She took in his smell again, and their breathing calmed simultaneously.

"God, JJ. I wish it were me. You shouldn't have to go through this." Spencer's voice was full of distress.

"Don't say that, Spence. I wouldn't wish this on anyone, and you are the last person in the world who deserves this. You've been through enough." JJ muttered. The shifted, and she was the one whispering into the crook of his neck this time. Spencer shyly kissed the top of her head, and she sighed at the affectionate gesture. The sigh turned into a yawn, and Spencer lightly chuckled.

"You should sleep, JJ. Peacefully this time." Spencer whispered. What she said next was a big surprise to Spencer, and he wasn't sure if it was due to the sleep deprivation or if it was genuine.

"I always sleep best with you by my side." JJ whispered right before she fell asleep.

"Me too, JJ." Spencer said before doing the same. The blonde's forehead rested on his shoulder, and with every breath she took came a new whiff of Spencer. JJ wasn't going to complain a bit. JJ did, in fact, sleep peacefully for the rest of the night. Spencer did too. His arms were completely wrapped around JJ's waist, holding her tightly in place.

Wednesday arrived, and with that came a new case. There was a terrorist group planning to attack the following day in Pittsburg, Pennsylvania.

"Wheels up in thirty." Hotch said dismissively as he exited the briefing room. The team scattered around to prepare for their departure.

"Maybe you can go visit your parents after this case." Spencer offered. JJ smiled to herself.

"That's a good idea, Spence. I can call them to see if we can." JJ said with a smile. Spencer's breath caught up when she said _'we'._

"If that's okay with you, that is." JJ scolded herself for being so bold.

"No… JJ, that's fine." Spencer said, kind of uncomfortably. JJ gave him a smile and a squeeze on the hand before leaving the room to call Henry.

"Hey, baby." JJ greeted her son.

"Hey, mommy. Why are you calling me while I'm at school?" Henry asked, confused.

"Mommy and Spence have to go catch the bad guys, so you and Jack are going to have a sleepover for a few days." JJ explained to her son. Leaving Henry never got any easier despite his age.

"I'm proud of you, mommy." Came Henry's response. JJ's breath hitched, and the tears threatened to fall out of her eyes.

"I love you, my baby star." JJ whispered.

"I love you too, mommy. Good luck catching the bad guy." Her son encouraged.

"Bye-bye Henry, I love you." JJ responded.

"Bye mommy, I love you too." Came Henry before the principal hung up the phone for him.

JJ stepped out into the Pennsylvania air, the familiar smell lingering in her nostrils.

"It's been a long time since I've been here." JJ admitted to Spencer and Derek.

"Welcome home, my Pennsylvania Petite." Derek said as he flashed JJ his award winning smile. The team met the police force at the station. They worked on the case all day, and eventually, they all decided to go get some rest so they had energy for their action plan the next day.

"There's nothing you can do now, JJ. You're all along. Your precious Spence can't save you now." Hastings boasted. JJ immediately bolted away, and JJ hit speed dial number 2 on her phone.  
"JJ?" His groggy voice came through the line.

"Spence… I need you." JJ admitted before bursting into tears. She heard a soft knock on her door a minute later, and she was greeted by Spencer's half asleep form. Spencer quickly lead her back to her bed.

"Shh, JJ. I'm here now. You can get some sleep." Spencer encouraged as he rubbed up and down JJ's back. JJ complied almost immediately, and once he decided she was okay, he was quick to follow.

"Good morning, Spence. We have a big day today." JJ whispered from where she lay right beside him. She giggled as Spencer hid his face in the crook of his neck, trying to get a little more sleep. Unknowingly, his teeth grazed down her entire neck, and JJ softly moaned at the contact. She then felt Hastings' lips on her neck, and her entire body locked up.

"What's wrong, JJ?" Spencer asked. He was immediately on high alert when he felt her body lock up beside him.

"Nothing, Spencer." JJ lied as she pulled his body closer to her. He definitely complied, and he rested his forehead on her shoulder.

"Come on, Spence. You have to wake up." JJ pleaded a few minutes later. Spencer begrudgingly forced himself out of bed. He kissed JJ's forehead unaware that he was doing it before leaving her room to go back to his own. His action caused JJ to freeze with a small smile on her face. Her heart swelled as she watched him walk out the door.

"Morgan. Blake. I need you on the corner of 5th and 6th street. JJ. Reid. You are responsible for standing in front of the subway station. Rossi and I are going to cover 10th and 11th. JJ, I need to talk to you privately before we head out." Hotch said dismissing everyone else.

"Yes sir?" JJ asked, worried.

"There is little to no risk of a bomb where I have you and Reid, so you are able to be there despite your condition." Hotch explained. JJ nodded.

"Thank you sir." JJ said before exiting to find Reid and heading to their destination. Now, all they had to do was identify their unsubs: Charles Brown and David Liggins before they could detonate the bombs.

JJ and Reid stood in front of the subway, checking to double check that neither of the unsubs were there.

"I think that is Charles." Reid said as he watched two men walk towards them. JJ's breath hitched.

"And that is definitely David." JJ confirmed. She called Hotch immediately.

"Hotch, both of the unsubs are here." JJ explained to her boss.

"Okay, you and Reid follow protocol and we will be there as soon as possible." There was an underline of stress in there voice. JJ and Reid were quick to follow Brown and Liggins into a dark tunnel that stretched out around two miles.

"FBI." JJ and Reid said simultaneously, upholstering their guns as they did so. Brown was quick to hold up the detonator. JJ took an unconscious step back at the sight.

"You don't want to do this, Charles. You don't want to hurt all of those innocent people." Reid tried to tap into his mind.

" _Those people_ didn't give justice to the man who raped my wife and his brother. Amy Liggins." Charles said ludicrously.

"That doesn't mean you have to do this." Reid tried to calm him down.

"Yes, it does. I'd rather die than spend life in prison." Liggins snapped. Footsteps' echoes were heard silently about a mile away.

"You have help?," Charles asked. Spencer nodded. "Amy didn't have help." Charles quickly mashed down on the detonator, and Spencer jumped in front of JJ to try to save her from the blow. Everything went black for the both of them.

When JJ awoke, she saw the sickly familiar setting. Those lights and the beeping noise only meant one thing: she was in the hospital. Her hand immediately went down to her lower abdomen to rub…

"Oh, god, please no." JJ exclaimed.

"What is it, peaches?" Garcia asked, relieved that her friend was finally awake. Since Spencer leapt in front of JJ in order to protect her, he had taken most of the blow. JJ only had a minor concussion and severely bruised ribs to worry about.

"I need to see a doctor. Now." JJ demanded harshly. Garcia quickly rose to her feet to find a doctor.

"Mrs. Jareau. Good to see you came back to the land of the living." The doctor said as he walked through the door. Surprising, Penelope decided to give her some privacy. She probably assumed it was urgent. Her assumptions were correct.

"I have a question." She needed to know. She needed to know now. She could feel the dark hole growing in her chest.

"Of course." The doctor said nicely.

"My baby…" was all JJ could get out.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Mrs. Jareau. We did a scan, but we were not told you were pregnant. If you were pregnant, I'm afraid that the impact of the blow was too much." The doctor's voice became silent. JJ choked on her tears. This couldn't be happening. This _couldn't_ be happening.

"Just one more question." JJ whispered.

"Anything." The doctor swore.

"There was a man with me, Spencer Reid, where is he now?" JJ needed to know. She couldn't lose him, too. She couldn't. She began hyperventilating. The tears streamed down her face quicker, and she looked desperately at the doctor.

"Mr. Reid was transported into the ICU this morning. He was knocked into a coma." The doctor explained as he looked at his charts.

"Oh, god." JJ moaned. She quickly ripped off her hospital gown to expose her bloody clothes. She sprinted out of the room, ignoring the protests her body gave her. When she found the team, they looked at her empathetically. She was sure she looked like a wild animal; she didn't care.

"Where is he?" She demanded. The team's eyes grew wide at her tone of voice.

"I'll take you to him." Hotch volunteered softly. When they got far enough from the team, Hotch gently turned her body toward him.  
"I am so sorry, JJ." Hotch empathized. JJ broke down right there in her boss's arms. At this point, she didn't care. It was becoming all too much for her.

"My baby's gone." JJ cried out. Hotch was overwhelmed with guilt. They had gotten the profile wrong. For the first time, they had gotten it wrong! The worst possible outcome followed it, too. To _his_ team.

' _Why must it always happen to my team?!'_ Hotch's thoughts demanded.

"Oh, JJ." Hotch held his friend close.

"I need to see him, please, Hotch. I can't lose him too." JJ admitted.

"I know." Hotch lead her to his room. JJ gasped as she took in his sight.

"Hotch, how long has it been since this has occurred?" JJ asked. She didn't know how long she had been out.

"We are approaching the 48th hour." Hotch informed her. JJ gasped.

"Can I go into the room?" She asked Hotch. He nodded.

"Yes, but only two people at a time." Hotch said. JJ was quick to enter the room and sit in the chair that was beside his bed. She scooted closer to him, and she took his hand.

"Hey, Spence." JJ sobbed out loud. Hotch had left the two alone.

"I lost my baby," JJ told her lifeless friend. "I can't lose you too, Spence. Please, don't leave me. You can't leave me. Spencer, you promised me that you would never leave." JJ begged. A nurse came in. JJ hid her annoyance at the nurse's bad timing.

"How long until he wakes up?" JJ desperately asked.

"He suffered no trauma to the brain. Right now, his body is just recuperating from the trauma it suffered. JJ sighed in relief. The nurse left after checking a few things.

"Did you hear that, Spence? Wait, of course you did. You're probably even still a genius when you're in a coma." JJ laughed despite herself. She felt Spencer's hand twitch. This gave her an idea. She could simply raise Spence from his nightmares like he did hers. She crawled into bed beside him, and she rested her forehead against Spencer's shoulder.

"Spencer, if you don't wake up, everything I went through will be for nothing," JJ admitted. "I lost my baby, which hurts like hell, and the only way I can get out of this is you. Spencer Reid, you are the only good thing that has came out of this. Now that I have hit rock bottom, the only way we can go is up, but I don't want that unless you're here. Please, don't leave me, Spencer. I need you. Dammit, Spence. I think I am in love with you." JJ gasped as the words left her mouth. This time, there definitely was a response from Spencer. She felt his arms wrap around her. She looked down, and his eyes were barely open.

"Oh, JJ." Spencer moaned as he took in her appearance. JJ looked more broken than he'd ever seen her before. She gasped in happiness as she heard his voice, but sobs were quickly replaced. Spencer pulled her tight against his side, ignoring his broken ribs for the love of his life.

"My baby, Spence. It's gone." JJ broke down in front of him. He stroked her hair. She gasped as she remembered she had to call the doctor to tell him that Spencer had woken up. JJ walked out the door quickly.

"DOCTOR!" Her wild voice hollered. She saw him rounding the corner, and his eyes widened as he looked at both of his patients in one room.

"Hello, Spencer. Glad to see you have joined us." The doctor greeted as he checked Spencer's vitals.

"You, Mrs. Jareau, are needed back in your own hospital room." The doctor warned. JJ's sobs left her body.

"No, please. He's all I have." JJ begged the doctor. The doctor took a deep breath, and he reluctantly replied.

"Since there is no permanent damage, I will have your boss fill out your release paper prematurely." The doctor announced before leaving the room. JJ crawled into the hospital bed with Spencer, and she lay on his chest.

"Do you think it was a boy or girl?" JJ asked Spencer.

"Whatever it was, JJ, it wasn't meant to be. Since the child was yours, I can guarantee it was going to be a beautiful child, but life just didn't want you to have it." Spencer tried to empathize, but he wasn't so good at that thing. JJ sighed.

"If you say so, Spence. It just really hurts." JJ admitted.

"I know, JJ." Spencer said sincerely. JJ curled into his chest, and before she could fall asleep, Spencer remembered something.

"By the way, JJ, I love you too." Spencer told her as he ran his hand down her smile. There was _almost_ a smile on her face, but the pain consumed her too much. JJ just fell asleep in Spencer's arms, knowing that tomorrow would be a bad day, but there was a tomorrow for her and Spencer. Even if a black hole of despair was growing in her chest by the second.

 **Author's Note: Blackbirdjeid** _ **please**_ **don't hate me! I have had this scene written for a month, and sadly, it was a necessity for the story. Please don't leave me!**

 **I will not be able to update tomorrow, so I tried to make this chapter a little longer.**

 **Loved it? Hated it? Comments? Please review.**

 **Blackbirdjeid please don't hate me I am** _ **so sorry!**_


	8. Chapter 8: Severe

Chapter 8: Severe

 **Author's Note: Thank you for the reviews! I know last chapter was pretty sad; your reviews keep me motivated.**

She was warm. She was hurt. The pain hit every vain. She hadn't felt this much despair since Rosaline's death. There were two familiar arms holding her tightly. She kept her eyes closed, and she buried her head deeper in his chest. His hand reached up to stroke her hair softly, and they both ignored the physical pain they felt. It paled in comparison to the emotional toll that was put on JJ and even Spencer. Eventually, Spencer coaxed JJ back to sleep. It was the only break she could get from the reality of the situation. The nurse walked in, and she found the two in Spencer's bed.

"You know, you're breaking every protocol in the book." The nurse said pointedly. Spencer just stared blankly at her as he stroked JJ's hair.

"You guys have been through a lot the past couple of days. She's really lucky to have you there to get her through this." The nurse rambled. JJ shuffled in Spencer's arms. The nurse changed Spencer's IV and checked both his and JJ's vitals.

"She's there for me, too. Plus, if anything, I am lucky to have the privilege to be there for her." Spencer admitted with a blush as he played with JJ's hair.

"Wow. 35 years and I am still looking for a man to talk about me that way. Keep it up, kid." The nurse instructed as she walked out of the door. Spencer looked down at his love, and his heart ached as he could feel the pain radiating off of her with every breath she took.

"God, JJ. I am so sorry." Spencer moaned as he buried his face in her hair. He then fell back asleep himself. He was emotionally spent as well, and he knew he'd need a lot of energy to be there for JJ when she woke up.

JJ lifted her head off of Spencer's chest, and she was greeted by Derek walking into the room. She raised a finger to her lips after taking in Spencer's sleeping form, and Derek seemed to get the message. JJ carefully lifted herself off of Spencer, trying not to hurt or wake him in the process. She met Derek outside of his room.

"How's he doing?" He asked as he pointed at Spencer.

"He's going to be okay. He's strong." JJ said with admiration.

"And how are you?" Derek asked with concern.

"Oh, I'll be fine." JJ said with a _very_ fake smile.

"First of all, JJ, I am a profiler, and you are a horrible liar," Derek said pointedly. The next part was said with more compassion. "JJ, I overheard the nurses talking about your miscarriage. I asked Hotch about it, and he admitted that the child was Hastings'." JJ was staring at the floor, and her hands were rubbing her arms while they were crossed. She looked up at Derek, and she just broke in front of him. The sobs racked through her body, and Derek pulled her into his arms.

"God, JJ. Why didn't you tell me the day I found out about your pregnancy?" Derek demanded. JJ shrugged.

"I…" She couldn't speak, but Derek did the work for her.

"I want him dead, JJ. That sick bastard _touched_ you." Derek snapped and his fist collided with the hospital wall. Hard. He only winced slightly when he pulled his hand back. JJ broke once again, and Derek pulled her tighter against him.

"I don't know if I can get through this." JJ whispered into her friend's chest.

"Yes you _can_ , JJ," Derek insisted. "You are the strongest person I know. You've been through so much. Actually… why isn't Will here?" Derek was confused, and JJ stiffened.

"Will and I got a divorce a week from last Friday." JJ said nonchalantly. Derek slightly stumbled because of the news.

"Oh, JJ. I had no idea." He responded quickly.

"I've pushed the team away, and I am sorry for that. I just… it's been really hard, and Spence is the only thing keeping me sane right now. He's become my rock during the last couple of weeks. I wouldn't… couldn't do this without his support, and it hurts me to see him down, too." JJ choked as she rubbed her temple. She was getting a migraine. "He loves you too, you know?" Derek offered lightly. She raised her blood _-_ shot eyes to meet his.

"How did you know?" JJ whispered.

"The kid jumped in front of a bomb for you, JJ. You're sharing a hospital bed. I just put two and two together." Derek responded. JJ nodded. She watched Spencer sleep through the window for a while.

"Hey, JJ," Derek began. JJ met his gaze. "If you ever need anything, I am here. I love you. Hell, don't tell the kid, but I love you both. No matter what time." Derek said before kissing the top of her head.

"We love you too, Derek, and it's just going to take time." JJ assured him. Sure, she loved the baby that she lost. It was her baby, but eventually, she would learn to live with the pain.

"I know, JJ. I know." Derek whispered as he pulled his friend in tightly. JJ swallowed the lump in her throat, and Derek walked away. JJ took a deep breath, and she quickly returned to Spencer's side. Spencer then shuffled against JJ.

"Mm. Good morning." Spencer moaned into JJ's ear. His eyes met JJ's and they adjusted to be on their sides facing each other. Spencer reached and tucked JJ's hair behind her ear. Spencer kissed her forehead as she leaned against him for support. Spencer didn't know what else to do; he was still very new at this. All he wanted to do was make her forget all the pain that this year had thrown at her.

"I'm hungry." JJ broke the silence.

"Do you want me to call…" Spencer was interrupted by a brunette rushing into the room.

"JJ. Spencer. I came as fast as I could. I am so sorry it took me so long." Emily said frantically. She wasn't too shocked to see the two sharing a bed. It was only a matter of time.

"Emily." JJ's voice became relieved as she saw her best girl friend. Emily rushed towards her side, and she crushed her in a hug.

"God, JJ. How are you feeling?" Emily asked. She mentally scolded herself for asking such a dumb question,

"I'm going to be okay, Emily." Honestly, JJ was depressed, but she knew that her life could only go up hill from here.

"Is there anything I can do for you? I brought you both this." Emily said as she pulled out the food from a to go bag.

"You're a saint, Emily." Spencer said as she handed him his food.

"Thanks, Em. Thank you for coming. You have no idea how much it means to me, but who told you?" JJ asked.

"Hotch called me with the news, and I got on the first flight I could. I'm always here for you, JJ." Emily vowed to her best friend.

"How are you feeling, Spencer?" Emily asked as she made her way to his side of the bed.

"It's just a few broken ribs and a few bruises. Somehow, I got really lucky." Spencer said. Emily sat down next to him, and she carefully gave him a hug as to avoid hurting him further,

"I missed you." Spencer admitted as Emily pulled away.

"I missed you too, Spencer." Emily assured him. She missed her whole BAU team. She squeezed both of their hands.

"When are you getting out of here?" Emily asked. They both looked at each other.

"I…I don't know." Spencer admitted. JJ just shrugged.

"I guess I will just ask the nurse when she comes back." JJ said.

"Hopefully it will be soon." Emily said.

"I just want to get out of here and go home." JJ moaned. A hospital isn't where she should deal with her grief.

' _Definitely Spencer's apartment instead of home.'_ JJ thought to herself. She unconsciously slid closer to him. The nurse decided to finally walk in at that moment. She checked on everything.

"How are you feeling?" The nurse asked.

"We're fine, considering. Do you know when we can go home?" Spencer asked. The nurse checked her charts.

"It looks like your withdrawal papers have already been filled out, JJ, and Spencer you are free to go if you please. I need to consult with your doctor first, and so do the both of you." The nurse instructed. They both nodded. The nurse left to find their doctor.

"I'm going to go wait in the waiting room to give you two some privacy." Emily said as she walked out of the door.

"Are you really feeling okay?" JJ asked as she lifted his shirt to examine his bruised and broken form. His ribs had been wrapped carefully, but most of his torso was black. Her face turned to concern as she carefully touched his ribs. Spencer watched her as her hand slid over his abdomen; it was like she was trying to coax his pain away. There eyes connected, and they had a silent conversation that only they could understand. Eventually, the doctor walked in which caused them to shoot away from each other.

"Okay, Spencer. I am just going to check over you one more time, but you should be good to go." The doctor explained as he too examined Spencer's torso.

"Everything looks good, considering, and you have no brain damage or internal bleeding. I am just going to prescribe you Dila…" The doctor was cut off by JJ's frantic voice.

"No. He's… allergic to Dilaudid."

"Oh, I am sorry, Spencer. I didn't see that on your chart. I do not really want to continue the use of Morphine, so what do you think about Oxycodine?" The doctor asked. Spencer swallowed thickly.

"A-actually, I would prefer to avoid use of any prescription narcotics." Spencer stuttered. The doctor gave him a weird, look but eventually complied.

"Okay, well take six tablets of Ibuprofen every twelve hours for pain." The doctor instructed. Spencer nodded in agreement.

"And, JJ. I am going to instruct the same thing for you. You will have cramps and possible bleeding for the next couple days, but if it gets too severe you will need to come back immediately." The doctor carried on.

"Yes sir." JJ's solemn voice came. She couldn't believe she had to go through this _again_. She'd already lost one; why did this have to happen again? Spencer surprised her by taking her hand.

"You two are free to go. Your friend, Emily, agreed to drive you home." The doctor said as he walked out of the room. JJ rose to her feet, but Spencer was having more trouble due to the pain that shot through his torso with his every move. JJ carefully offered him her hand, and Spencer used her as his anchor to get up. When he was on his feet, he wasted no time as to pull JJ into a tight embrace, enveloping her completely in his scent and warmth. For the first time in what seemed like forever, JJ felt safe. Eventually, though, she had to pull away because Emily was waiting on them to take them home. JJ squeezed Spencer's hand before she led him out of the hospital door.

JJ sat in the passenger seat next to Emily and Spencer sat in the back.

"Where do you want me to take you?" Emily asked as she began pulling out of the parking spot.

"Just my apartment will do, Em." Spencer said nonchalantly. JJ looked out the window so her friend wouldn't question her at the time. Still, Emily had a weird look on her face, but she'd heard JJ talk about Spencer. It was all just a matter of time.

"Do you want anything that I can pick up?" Emily asked. JJ shook her head in disagreement.

"No, Em, we're fine. I didn't realize we weren't in Pennsylvania. When did they fly us back?" JJ asked in confusion.

"From what Hotch told me, you two were flown back after Spencer left the trauma room. You were drugged, JJ, so that is why you don't remember, and Spencer was in a coma…" Emily trailed sadly. JJ stiffened at the small reminder, and Emily finally pulled into Spencer's apartment. Spencer exited the car after hugging Emily goodbye as to give the women time to talk.  
"JJ, are you going to be okay?" Emily asked cautiously. JJ turned to her friend.

"Actually, Em. I do. I have this gnawing despair that is killing me, but I know things will get better. This time, I don't have to go through it alone." JJ explained as she unconsciously watched Spencer walk inside.

"That's for sure. I am here for you, and so is Spencer." Emily said with a smile and a squeeze of the hand.

"I don't know what I ever did to deserve you guys. Or the team…" JJ trailed.

"You would do the same for us, JJ." Emily responded as if it were obvious.

"God, I miss you Emily." JJ said with tears baying in her eyes.

"I miss you too, JJ," Emily responded. "I'll come see you tomorrow. Go inside and relax." Emily encouraged, and JJ reluctantly complied. She had to get a long hug from her friend first though.

"Here you go, JJ." Spencer handed her a glass of her favorite tea.

"Thank you, Spence." JJ said with a soft smile. Spencer made a brave move by putting his hand to her cheek as concern danced in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry, JJ." Spencer apologized before pulling her into his warm embrace. She sought comfort in him, and he kissed the top of her hair.

"Can we talk about something happier?" JJ mumbled into his chest.

"Of course we can, JJ. Like what?" Spencer asked her as he took her hand and led her to the couch. JJ propped her bare feet on Spencer's leg.

"You… you said you loved me." JJ's voice shook with nervousness as the brave words left her lips. Spencer froze for a second, took a deep breath, and relaxed before he could speak.

"I've loved you for almost a decade, JJ." Spencer admitted. JJ's eyes became wide, but a smile tugged on her lips. Her heart fluttered lightly, and the burning she had felt growing in her chest ignited into a big fire.

"Spencer, I love you, and I… I almost lost you. Please don't ever leave me." JJ buried her face into his shoulder at the memory.

"I promise." Spencer vowed. JJ breathed in his lovely scent.

"I'm going to go take a shower. I smell like a hospital." JJ announced before climbing off Spencer and going into the bathroom. She examined herself in the mirror for the first time in a while. She looked horrible. Her stomach was almost as black as Spencer's, but it was less severe. Her cheekbone had a dark bruise on it, and bruises danced from her waist down to her feet. JJ sighed. In order to fix this, she would have to take an extra long shower to make the pain go away. JJ grabbed a razor, shampoo, conditioner, and soap before cranking the hot water as far as it would go. She stepped into the hot flow, and her skin practically melted in the beautiful luxury. JJ quickly got busy, not wanting her thoughts to pass through her mind just yet.

She exited the bathroom to find Spencer on his couch with wet hair as well. He was reading a fairly large book, and his glasses were on his face. He looked so peaceful.

"Hey." JJ's voice was weak. Spencer's eyes trailed to JJ, and he patted the spot next to him. JJ climbed on the couch, and Spencer's arms immediately wrapped around her waist.

"What are you reading?" JJ asked curiously.

"Actually, it is one of Rossi's book, but shouldn't we pick up where we left off in Treasure Island?" Spencer asked as he picked up the small novel off of his coffee table. JJ nodded as she shuffled around in Spencer's arm. She rested her head on his shoulder, and he began reading her the works of Robert Stevenson. Spencer eventually finished the book. Surprisingly, JJ hadn't fallen asleep yet.

"Do you want me to carry you to bed?" Spencer asked. JJ nodded as she wrapped her arms around Spencer's neck. When he began walking towards his guest bedroom, JJ spoke up.

"Can I sleep with you? I don't want to be alone." JJ admitted. Spencer looked down at the girl in his arms, and he was sure to lock eyes with her to increase the intensity of what he was about to say.

"Always, JJ." Spencer said as he turned around to carry JJ to his bed. He carefully tucked her in before climbing in beside her. She buried her head on his chest, and he rubbed small circles on her back. JJ felt utterly safe in his arms; it was like he whisked all of her demons away.

"I love you," This time, it was JJ to whisper into the black of the night. "Spencer. Always." Her vow weighed heavy into the night, but she had never slept better.

 **Author's Note: I know it's been a while since I last updated, but as I am sure you can tell, I have a serious case of writer's block right now. I apologize for the lack of detail in this chapter. I hope next chapter will be full of it!**

 **Help cure my writer's block by leaving me a quick review!** **J**

 **Loved it? Hated it? Questions? Comments? Let me know in a review!**


	9. Chapter 9: I See Fire

Chapter 9: I See Fire

 **Your reviews were amazing, as always! Guest- I will definitely keep that suggestion in mind.**

 **Thank you all for supporting me through this story, and I am sorry updates are beginning to be sporadic and irregular, but my busying schedule and slight writer's block are to blame. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this chapter.**

JJ moaned as the mid-morning light hit her eyes. She shifted deeper into Spencer's side, and his arm instinctually pulled her closer to him. JJ wasn't quite ready to get up and face reality yet, and Spencer wanted to hang on to the few precious moments before their life hit them as well. His hand slid up her arm, and she flipped over to lay on his chest.

"Good morning, JJ." Spencer whispered. JJ groaned.

"Just five more hours." JJ begged.

"If you wish." Spencer said. He got up to close the blinds and the curtains to block out the daylight, and a small smile appeared on JJ's lips. When Spencer returned to the bed, she eagerly took her rightful spot on his chest. Eventually, they fell back into eager sleep that they needed due to the physical and emotional trauma that seemed to follow them everywhere they went.

JJ awoke again, but this time she was ready to actually wake up. She looked at Spencer's bedside digital clock. It read 2:13. They had slept until 2:13. JJ chuckled silently to herself; she had never slept so late in her life. Honestly, she wouldn't have it any other way, especially when she had Spencer right beside her. She silently tip-toed out of his bedroom and into the shower. She avoided her reflection in the mirror for the time being, but she took a quick shower. The feeling of Hastings had almost dissipated; she knew very well who had the most influence on that. He was the only _good_ thing that had come out of the last year of her life. She'd lost so much, but honestly she had gained everything in return.

' _He makes all this pain, tragedy, and despair worth it with just one breath.'_ JJ thought. She shook her head quickly; sleeping made her turn into some sort of sappy Nicholas Sparks novel. She chuckled lowly. When she stepped out of the shower, she quickly curled her dry hair into her usual waves and put on jeans and a random t-shirt from her bag. She knew she had to go home soon, but that topic was too painful to think about. She walked back into the bathroom to brush her teeth and do make up. When she finished her make up, she walked out of the door quietly. She checked to see if Spencer was still sleeping, and she was surprised to see he was. She smiled to herself as she sat down beside him. She reached down and stroked his cheek. This caused him to stir.

"Spencer." She spoke. This resulted in a groan from the genius. He reluctantly sat up, and she heard his back crack several times. The noise caused JJ to grimace.

"Good morning." Spencer's groggy voice came as he wiped his eyes cutely.

"Good afternoon." JJ said pointedly with a smile.

"W-what?" Spencer asked as he looked at the clock that read 2:57. Spencer gasped. JJ sent him a smile.

"Wow." is all he managed to say. JJ pulled Spencer out of the bed, and she handed him a cup of coffee off of the kitchen counter as they entered it. JJ leaned against the counter, and she watched him sleepily revel in the taste of the drink that gave him life.

"Can we go somewhere since we have a few days off. Plus, Jessica and Hotch are watching Henry, so we don't have to worry about entertaining a child." JJ explained. She was eager to get out of the house. With Spencer.

"Of course, JJ. Where do you want to go?" Spencer asked. JJ's doe eyes locked on his, and he swallowed nervously immediately.

"Dinner and a movie?" JJ asked, a small smile hinting on her lips. Spencer's mind raced. How does he respond? Does he joke? Does he just agree?

' _What do I do?'_ Spencer's thoughts begged; it was as if he was seventeen again. He decided to play it cunningly cool.

"Are you asking me on a date, Mrs. Jareau?" Spencer's voice dropped low, and he took a step towards the blonde. He was almost animalistic, and JJ admittedly loved it. He was like a lion claiming his prey for the first time. JJ's mouth went immediately dry, and her lips parted slightly.

' _Where has this Spencer been all my life?'_ JJ asked herself.

"Why yes, Spencer, I am." JJ croaked. A smirk appeared on Spencer's lips, and he quickly turned to exit the room leaving a gaping JJ behind.

"What the hell just happened?" JJ asked herself. She shook herself out of it, and she sauntered into the guest bedroom to change for her 'date' with Spencer. She replaced her jeans and a t-shirt with a casual navy blue dress. She then took in her appearance, but when she saw something (she wasn't sure what it was) in the background, it triggered a flashback of Hastings. She gasped, and she leaned over the sink.

' _Don't get sick. Don't get sick.'_ JJ coaxed herself as she looked at her paling appearance. Eventually, she was able to calm herself down. She slipped on a pair of her black heels and walked out of the room. She hoped that wouldn't happen again. Not tonight.

"Wow, JJ. You look absolutely beautiful." Spencer uttered in disbelief while awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. This was all new to him.

"You look amazing too, Spence." JJ tried to calm his nervousness. He wore a cardigan over a button up and a tie. His usual 'Spencer' look. Her comment only caused him to chuckle nervously; this whole ordeal was painfully awkward.

"Spencer." JJ tried to snap him out of it. The use of his full name made him become immediately alert.

"Stop trying so hard. How many times have we done this before? Now, come on and have _fun._ " JJ encouraged. Spencer realized she was right; only this time, it would be better because _she loves him too._ He nodded and walked out the door behind JJ with an extra spring in his step. Maybe this wouldn't be too bad after all.

"The movie selection is horrible." Spencer complained to JJ, who immediately nodded.

"Why did they have to make Texas Chainsaw in 3D?" JJ wrinkled her nose. Hollywood made some terrible choices.

"Spence, since I made the first decision, you make the back-up date plan." JJ instructed. Spencer froze, but JJ grabbed her hand and ran her thumb over the top of it.

"Remember, Spence. I am your best friend first. Now where do you want to go?" JJ asked. Spencer's face did the thing it does when he gets an idea.

The store was old, but JJ liked it.

"Hello, Spencer." The little old lady said from behind the counter. Spencer gave her an awkward wave.

"H-hi." Spencer stuttered shyly. He really hoped JJ would like his plan.

"Who might this pretty young woman be?" The lady asked curiously as she took JJ in.

"This is JJ. She's my… date." Spencer said nervously.

"You are very beautiful, and you are also very lucky. Spencer is a nice young man." The lady commented. This caused Spencer to turn a deep shade of red. JJ smiled. She knew how to handle people since she was the communications liaison for years.

"I am very lucky." JJ said. It was the truth and what the lady wanted to hear.

"Anyway, Mrs. Greene, I was hoping we could have some of your tea?" Spencer asked. Mrs. Greene nodded as she walked away slowly. JJ took in the place. It was a store that sold old books, but it was quiet and romantic. It definitely added a Spencer twist to the evening, which caused JJ to love this place even more.

"It's amazing, Spence." JJ commented as she began walking around. JJ even loved the smell of dusty books that seemed to radiate around this place.

"Sometimes, you can find the original copies. I spend my time in here reading and just getting away from home. There is a private corner over there," Spencer indicated to the left with his finger. "that I can read to you in. It is secluded and this place is normally empty so I thought it would be perfect." Spencer rambled.

"It is." JJ agreed. She smiled up at Spencer, but he just awkwardly looked away. JJ grabbed his hand, which caught his attention immediately. JJ led him over to the corner, and she plucked a book off of the shelf behind him: a translated version of Le Morte d'Arthur (King Arthur and the Legends of the Roundtable) by Thomas Malory. Spencer smiled at her selection.

"My mother used to read this to me all of the time." Spencer said nostalgically as he grabbed the book from her. Mrs. Greene brought their tea to them.

"Thank you." JJ said politely as the older woman smiled at them. She lingered slightly, but she went back to work. JJ slid closer to Spencer as he wrapped his arm around her. She relaxed into the sound of his voice telling her the story of fairytales and romance and princes and everything she once believed in.

Hours later, Spencer finished the book. The wooden building had no electricity, but was lit by candlelight due to the darkening night. It was almost as if they were living in the book Spencer had just read to her. She slowly stood up, and she offered her hand to him. He took it as he stood up himself. Their legs stretched due to the sitting still for hours. Spencer rubbed his back in the pain that had been building up from the stress of work and cases and other things. He noted how beautiful JJ looked under the flickering candlelight, her blue eyes contrasting the deep orange of the room. She eventually looked up from putting the book back in its rightful spot.

"That was amazing, Spence. We should do this more often. What is it, Spence?" JJ asked as her eyes finally met his. He had that look on his face as if her were piecing things together. He swallowed his fear. For nearly thirty-four years he had lived to be too afraid to do anything, to take a risk, but this one was far too tempting. Spencer took a step forward, his eyes darting down to JJ's lips and back to her eyes. JJ subconsciously licked her lips lightly, which only encouraged Spencer more. He snaked his arms around her waist, and his eyes locked on hers.

"Tell me if you want me to stop." Spencer whispered. His lips were so close to hers that JJ could feel them moving. She almost whined out loud when he slowly leaned in; she was becoming impatient. Finally, his lips shyly brushed her. All of the wind left JJ's body. She couldn't breathe; she had never felt this way before. Her insides exploded, and she pushed herself closer to Spencer. After the much too brief kiss, JJ immediately felt the loss.

"No." JJ moaned in protest against his lips as he began to recede. It was JJ's turn to be brave. She quickly slid her hand up Spencer's back, neck, and she eventually found his hair. She tangled her fingers in it, and she slammed his lips against her. This time, the kiss was passionate. Ten years of built up desire poured in it, and she felt Spencer back her up against the wall softly. He began trailing kisses down her jaw and neck.

"God, Spence." JJ encouraged. Eventually, the loss was too much as JJ grabbed Spencer by the hair to put his lips back in their rightful spot: on hers. This time, she was sure to kiss him like he'd never been kissed before. When she pulled away, out of breath, she rested her forehead against his and genuinely smiled for the first time in months.

"Wow." JJ whispered. Spencer tucked a piece of hair that had fallen in her face behind her ear.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that." Spencer said, incredulous with himself that he was able to resist that. It had been everything he had ever imagined and then some. JJ took his hand, and they exited the small bookshop.

"Do you want me to read to you again?" Spencer asked JJ. JJ surprisingly declined.

"No, Spencer, that's okay. You just read me an entire novel. I'll be okay." JJ assured him. She saw him rub his back again. An idea popped into her head.

"Take your shirt off." JJ instructed. Spencer gave her a weird look.

"JJ, I…" Spencer began to protest.

"Just do it." JJ demanded. Unable to resist the petite blonde, he lifted his shirt over his head. JJ admired his form for a second, but snapped back to reality quickly.

"Now lay on your stomach on the floor." JJ instructed. Spencer did as he was asked. JJ contentedly straddled him from behind as her hands began to work wonders on his shoulders. Spencer immediately moaned. JJ cringed as she felt the built up stress that she knew came from her leave his body. She worked on his entire back, and she felt him completely relax.

"Now flip over on your back." JJ instructed further. Spencer did so after she got off of him. JJ quickly straddled his hips again, and she smiled down at him. Spencer became confused, but he was quickly distracted when he felt his favorite pair of lips meet his own in a passionate, yet chaste, kiss.

"I love you, Spencer Reid." JJ whispered against his lips as she pulled away. Spencer stroked her cheek.

"I love you, too, JJ. More than you could ever know." Spencer vowed up to her. JJ stood up, and she offered him her hand. She didn't let go of it as they walked into his bedroom.

 **Author's Note: So I got a little sappy at the end? *Blushes* Sorry, but I kinda like the sappy stuff in moderation. I hope you enjoyed it, and I am sorry for the long wait.**

 **Questions? Comments? Loved it? Hated it? Let me know in a review!**


	10. Chapter 10: Everything Has Changed

Chapter 10: Everything Has Changed

 **Author's Note: I am so sorry about the wait! I haven't been motivated, and I have been super busy. Plus, my boyfriend and I are going through a rough patch, so I haven't been in the mood for writing about the world's most perfect couple. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

 **Thank you for the reviews!**

JJ turned into Spencer's side, seeking the familiar warmth he always had. She wasn't quite ready to face the world today, but she was excited about seeing her baby boy again. Spencer's hand slid up hers, and she immediately knew he was awake. She perched herself on her elbows as she took in his appearance. She took in the fact that the room was still dark, so it couldn't be any later than 5:30 in the morning.

"Good morning." Her groggy voice croaked. Her neck decided the weight of her head was too much, so her body slammed right back on the bed. She groaned as she hit the mattress roughly. Spencer chuckled lightly and took it upon himself to halfway pick her up and place her head on his chest. JJ contentedly listened to the sound of his breathing and heartbeat. Her heart fluttered when he pulled her tighter into him.

"Good morning." Spencer responded eventually. JJ smiled as her hand traced patterns on his chest through his worn Caltech t-shirt.

"I could wake up like this every morning." JJ didn't realize what she had said before she drifting back to sleep. Her comment stunned Spencer, but it also spread warmth and relief through his body.

"I could too, my love." He whispered as he pulled JJ closer to him as he drifted back to sleep himself.

JJ moaned again as her hand tried to find Spencer. When she found nothing, she darted up to find his side of the bed empty. She grimaced when her feet hit the floor, the cold wood piercing through her warm, bare feet. She found Spencer in the kitchen stirring two cups of coffee.

"Good morning, JJ." Spencer said as he handed her a cup. JJ smiled softly as she swallowed the warm liquid. JJ surprised him by moving closer to press her lips to his.

"Good morning, Spencer." She murmured against his lips. She felt his smile spread against her, and she kissed him again. This time, she took the coffee mug out of his hand to sit his next to hers on the counter so that she could pull him closer. Her hands immediately tangled in his hair. She tugged lightly to deepen the kiss, and Spencer willingly complied as he picked her up to place her on the counter. JJ's legs obediently wrapped around his waist, and she felt his tongue lightly graze her lips. When she didn't immediately grant him entrance, Spencer's tongue desperately begged for permission. Done teasing, JJ parted her lips lightly so that there tongues could battle for dominance. When Spencer's hands began lifting her shirt up, she gasped and immediately pushed him away. She gasped for air as the sobs racked through her body. She was taken to a flashback. Lifting up her shirt was the first thing Hastings had done to declare dominance. She began hyperventilating, and Spencer's genius brain automatically knew what was happening. He took his love in his arms, and he held her tightly. JJ sobbed into his chest.

"Please don't let him hurt me, Spence." JJ whispered silently yet heartbreakingly into his chest. Spencer's heart shattered, and he couldn't breathe due to the pain from his love.

"No one will ever hurt you again, JJ. I promise." Spencer whispered into her hair. He kissed the top of her head lightly as he pulled her in tighter.

' _How am I going to distract her?'_ Spencer's brain was begging itself for answers. He was coming up blank, but he knew he had to find a way and fast.

"JJ, what time do we need to go get Henry?" Spencer whispered. JJ snapped herself out of it, and she looked at the clock on the stove.

"Not until 3." She explained. It was only nine, so they had a while.

"Okay." Spencer said as he watched her intently.

"Look, I'm sorry. I'm not a damsel in distress, but…" Spencer cut her off by kissing her thoroughly. She felt her love for him spread throughout her body and all the pain she had felt before completely diminished under his touch. He tentatively snaked his arms around her waist and pulled her in closer. He rested his forehead against hers.

"You have nothing to apologize for. You the strongest person I know, JJ, but what that sick man did to you isn't something you can fight alone. Plus, JJ, we are together now, and it is my privilege to be there for you through everything," Spencer pressed his lips to her forehead. "I will never leave you, JJ. Ever." He vowed against her skin. A soft smile spread across her lips.

"I love you, Spencer." She whispered.

' _We are together now.'_ The words echoed through JJ's brain. She quite liked those words.

Her words to his breath away, and he pulled her impossibly closer to him. She pulled herself out of his tight embrace, took her coffee cup off the counter, and headed for the shower.

JJ cranked the heat as hot as it could go. She'd have to burn the feeling of _his_ skin off of her. She closed her eyes, and she tried to distract her mind. When she stepped in the shower, she immediately yelped as the scorching water came into contact with her skin. She heard rushed footsteps before there was pounding on the door.

"JJ, are you okay?" Spencer's worried voice came through.

"I'm okay, Spence. The water was just a little hotter than I thought." JJ explained before he busted the door in due to his excessive pounding. JJ reveled in the feeling of the hot water steaming away the malevolent touch that had been placed upon her not too long ago. She sang softly as she shaved before exiting the shower completely. She dried her hair quickly and put make up on. She sighed at her reflection in the mirror; she already felt the day emotionally draining her. She put on jeans and a plain black t shirt as she exited the bedroom completely. She joined Spencer on the sofa.

"Spencer… what are we going to do?" JJ started to express her thoughts out loud.

"What do you mean?" Spencer asked, not following her completely.

"There are several things. Yes, I love you, but I am pretty sure that the FBI has some sort of rules against fraternization. I do not want to have to hide our relationship until we retire, and that is illegal. Plus, you probably do not want us intruding in your apartment like we have been, but I do not want to go back in that house, and…" Spencer finally cut her off with a kiss that caused her head to spin. She tangled her hand in his hair.

"Did you like that?" Spencer whispered. JJ eagerly nodded.

"Then you know that everything is going to be okay and will work out for the best. We can talk to Hotch later today; I am almost positive he already knows. He can try to find a loophole with the FBI, and give me a minute to actually read the section on appropriate relationships in the FBI handbook. For all we know, the FBI could operate similarly to the military, and since we are the same rank there would be no problem. I believe we are more than capable of keeping it professional within a professional environment." Spencer rambled. JJ nodded.

"I do not want to keep it a secret, either. In fact, let's have the team over for dinner and tell them… tonight." Spencer said excitedly.

"You're not serious." JJ said with a slight chuckle.

"We haven't had a get-together since Rossi's cooking lesson, and I miss them. We can talk to Hotch when we pick up Henry, and we can go grocery shopping after we do that. _Please, JJ._ " Spencer adorably begged.

"How could I _ever_ say 'no' to you." JJ said sarcastically with a roll of her eyes. Spencer placed his lips on hers in thanks, and she smiled in their kiss. He pulled her to him closer.

"I still can't believe I am allowed to do that." Spencer said incredulously as he stroked her cheek. She gave him a soft smile.

"Well believe it because the privilege is yours and only yours." JJ promised. She kissed him thoroughly. It was his turn to smile as she tugged lightly on his hair. This caused a moan to escape Spencer's mouth. She smirked as she pulled away from the kiss.

"Are you hungry?" Spencer asked as he pulled her up with him. She nodded as he led her out the door.

"More secluded bookshops?" JJ asked hopefully. Spencer smiled.

"No, sadly." Spencer replied. JJ was disappointed.

"I'll have to take you back soon, though." Spencer hinted as he took her hand. She smiled at his bold, uncharacteristic public display of affection. They made there way to the parking garage.

"How about we walk? It's not too far, and it's warm outside." Spencer suggested. JJ nodded in agreement as she retook his hand. They made there way back to the main lobby and out the front door. The weather was nice, and they looked like the perfect couple as they walked hand-in-hand down the streets of Quantico. They entered a restaurant for lunch, and Spencer pulled out a chair for her and she smiled at him in thanks. They ordered, and she watched him as his brows furrowed in contemplation. JJ smiled as she herself decided what to get.

"What can I get you?" The brunette waitress asked, eyeing Spencer up and down while she bit her lip.

"Um… I'll just have the salad, thanks." Spencer said oblivious to the flirting as he handed her the menu with a smile.

"I'll have one too." JJ said as she made her presence known. She arched a brown and her arms were crossed over her chest.

"Two salads coming right up." The waitress said before sending Spencer a wink. Spencer shifted uncomfortably in his seat at the obvious gesture. JJ scoffed as she walked away.

"Are you excited about getting to see Henry?" Spencer asked.

' _What a weird question to ask a mother.'_ JJ thought at first, but she quickly got the hidden message: are you _ready_ to see Henry and pull it together for a few days. Even though you just lost your baby…

"I'm going to cherish the time I have with him now before he is forced to leave me for a month. Not that I don't trust Will, but I just don't like the thought of my baby being away from me for a whole month." JJ explained.

"I understand, JJ." Spencer promised. She took a deep breath as the waitress came out with their salads.

"MOMMY!" An excited little boy sprinted into his mother's arms.

"Hey, baby, I missed you!" JJ told her little boy.

"Did you and Spence catch the bad guy?' Henry asked as he looked between the two adults.

"We did, buddy." Spencer promised as he crouched down to the smiling boy's level.

"Me and Jack made a huge fort and Mr. Hotch played with us in it!" Henry squealed excitedly. Spencer and JJ chuckled to themselves.

"We sure did, didn't we buddy?" Hotch asked as he rounded the corner with Jack. Henry nodded excitedly.

"Hello, Spencer, JJ." Hotch greeted. They sent their boss a smile.

"Hotch, err… JJ and I would like to talk to you." Spencer said nervously as he rubbed the back of his neck. Hotch nodded.

"Boys, why don't you two play a little more outside? I think that the dragons are going to attack again!" Hotch exclaimed with feign-worry. The boys scurried out of the Hotchner back door.

"Is something wrong?" Hotch asked with real worry.

"Well… not really." Spencer's nervous voice continued.

"Whatever it is, Spencer, you know I am here for the both of you." Hotch vowed.

"I hope this doesn't break protocol, but JJ and I have… pursued a relationship." Spencer's voice was awkward, and JJ stared down at the floor nervously.

"I see." Hotch said pointedly as a smile spread across his lips.

"What is it?" Spencer asked with his anxiety skyrocketing.

"You know you are on a _profiling_ team with _profilers_ , right you two?" Hotch asked. Spencer and JJ looked at each other.

"Anyway, it is not against protocol due to the exemption of same-rank you can thank Rossi and Strauss for." Hotch said. The couple nodded with a light laugh.

"However, as your team leader, I do authorize you two keep it strictly professional. I would like the BAU to keep its prestigious reputation." Hotch warned.

"Yes sir." Spencer agreed.

"Spencer, tell Hotch your idea for tonight." JJ reminded him.

"Hotch, I would like for JJ and I to host a dinner tonight at six to tell the rest of the team. It has been a while since we have been together formally." Spencer explained. Hotch smiled genuinely.

"Yes, it has." Hotch said.

' _Finally these two have found the happiness that I have always hoped for.'_ Hotch thought. He genuinely loved his team as his family.

"Bring Jack so that Henry has someone to play with." JJ suggested. As if on cue, the two boys scrambled into the living room.

"We did it, dad!" Jack said with pride.

"We slay the dragon!" Henry's proud voice filled the room.

"Well then, I think that means you are free to go!" JJ told her little boy. Henry's shoulders slumped.

"You will get to see Jack tonight, but your mommy misses you, buddy, so you should come with us for now." Spencer explained. Henry skipped over to his mother and her 'prince'.

"Goodbye, Mr. Hotch. Thank you for having me over and letting me play with Jack!" Henry thanked Hotch as he walked out of the door after JJ and Spencer exchanged goodbyes with their boss/friend.

"I think we should do steak." Spencer suggested as he picked up a pack of the meat.

"Alright, but you are cooking it." JJ warned slightly. She did not want Rossi criticizing her cooking… again.

"What you don't know about me, my love, is that I have many hidden talents and cooking happens to be one of them." Spencer flirted before kissing her cheek while placing the pack in the cart.

"And what are your other talents, Dr. Reid?" JJ asked innocently.

"Those… can be shown later." Spencer said with a wink as he turned to walk away leaving a gaping yet turned on JJ behind.

"What the hell just happened? Again." JJ chuckled.

"Mommy. You said a bad word." Henry scolded. JJ gasped as she realized she had.

"I'm sorry, Henry, forgive me?" JJ asked her son. He nodded to his mom.

"I told Spencer that he was your prince." Henry said nonchalantly as they walked down the aisle.

"You did what?" JJ asked her son, confused.

"When you used to fall asleep after Spencer read to you, he carried you to bed every night. He used to say things like

" _I love you."_ He thought I was sleeping too, but one night I caught him kissing your forehead, and I asked him if he loved you. He said

" _More than she'll ever know."_ I really liked that because you deserve to be loved like you and daddy explained to me. I told Spencer that I thought that he was your prince. Spencer really liked that, but he made sure to tell me not to tell you," Henry cutely rambled. His face made an 'O' shape. "Oops."

"No, baby, I am glad you told me." JJ said with a smile. Henry relaxed. JJ nonchalantly thought about what Henry had said as she shopped for sides to serve at the dinner. She chose garlic mashed potatoes, salad (mainly for Garcia sense she is a vegetarian), cheddar macaroni and cheese, bread rolls and asparagus.

"Hey, beautiful, I grabbed some…" Spencer started as he walked up to JJ holding a box in his hand. JJ forcibly yanked the box out of his hand and threw it into the shopping cart. Spencer gave her a confused look before she yanked his head down to kiss him. The kiss was sweet and loving and perfect in every way.

"God, Spencer, how is it possible that you can make me love you more?" JJ asked him as he pulled away.

"What was that for, JJ?" Spencer asked, confused.

"I accidentally told mommy what we talked about with you being her prince." Henry explained. JJ nodded.

"I think mommy really liked that." Henry giggled as JJ kissed Spencer again.

"Mommy Spencer got pie!" Henry said excitedly, interrupting the moment.

"Pie for dessert?" JJ asked Spencer as she turned.

"I need to get wine for the asparagus, and then we can leave to start cooking. JJ, I need you to call Emily. She said she had a surprise for you, but she couldn't get in touch with you." Spencer said. JJ nodded as she pulled out her phone to reveal she had three missed calls from her friend.

"Hey, Em. Sorry Spence, Henry and I are grocery shopping." JJ apologized.

"It's fine, Jay, but I have a surprise!" Emily's excited voice spilled through the phone.

"What is that?" JJ asked her friend.

"I happen to be walking around Quantico…" Emily trailed.

"You're in town?" JJ asked incredulously.

"I am."

"You should come to our home tonight for dinner! The rest of the team is there, and you would make it perfect." JJ's voice was excited.

"I will be there." Emily promised as she hung up the phone. JJ practically skipped to the wine section with Henry and Spencer following her.  
"Hey baby…" Spencer started.

"Hmm?" JJ mumbled as she tried to select wine to drink and wine to cook with. Yes, they are two _very_ different things.

"You said 'our' home when you talked to Emily." Spencer said pointedly.

"Oh, sorry Spence I…" But Spencer cut her off by placing his hands on the shelf on either side of her trapping her within his arms.

"Don't apologize. I liked it." Spencer assured her as he regained his posture.

"Spencer, _please,_ don't burn the steak." JJ begged as he started to cook it. Spencer sent her glare.

"JJ, you are talking to a Caltech graduate who happens to be a genius. I am pretty sure I can handle some steaks." Spencer sassed her. JJ rolled her eyes. She began to prep the potatoes and asparagus.

"Mommy, what can I do?" Henry asked his mother as he walked in the kitchen.

"You can cook the rolls." JJ suggested as pulled out the pack and a pan.

"How do I do that?" Henry asked curiously.

"Well, right now just take them out of the bag, and line them up on the pan." JJ explained to her son as he nodded intently. Henry began doing the task, and JJ returned to hers. She eyes Spencer cooking the steak worriedly. She walked up to him and rested her chin on his shoulder.

"They look good." JJ commented.

"I told you, my love, I can cook," Spencer pointed out. "I may not be Rossi, but I get by." JJ yawned.

"Do you want some coffee?" JJ asked Spencer as she proceeded to make herself some. Spencer nodded. He was very focused on the steak. They continued cooking for the rest of the afternoon.

 **Author's Note: I really do have the** _ **biggest**_ **apology for the insanely long wait that took! Ugh, I just have been down in the dumps and not motivated. I hope you enjoyed this chapter** _ **please**_ **leave a review to motivate me because this is getting to be a big burden.**

 **Until next time…**


	11. Chapter 11: The A Team

Chapter 11: The A Team

 **Author's Note: Thank you so much for the reviews, follows, and favorites from the last chapter. I am very glad you are enjoying this side of Spencer and of course adorable Henry! Please enjoy this chapter as well.**

JJ smiled as she opened the door to reveal her boss.

"Hello, Hotch. We are very glad you could make it. We will serve dinner as soon as everyone gets here," JJ turned her attention to Jack. "Jack, Henry is in the living room watching tv if you would like to join him." Jack's face lit up as he raced to find his friend.

"Spencer is in the kitchen prepping." JJ said as she lead her boss into the kitchen.

"Hey, Hotch." Spencer said distracted with his back turned to them. He wa setting his table to accommodate the many guests.

"This was a great idea,Spencer. It has been a while the team has been together away from cases." Hotch encouraged. Spencer turned to give Hotch a tight-lipped smile in thanks.

"He's been like this all afternoon. He wants everything to be perfect." JJ said with a laugh.

"As long as the team is together, that is all that matters." Hotch promised uncharacteristically showing emotion.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Hotch offered.

"No, I think we are good. We just have a few more things to do." Spencer responded. The doorbell rang again. JJ dismissed herself to answer the door.

"Emily!" JJ gasped when she saw her friend.

"JJ, as usual, I missed you!" Emily said as she pulled the blonde in for a hug.

"Spence and Hotch are in the kitchen." JJ said as she walked with her friend to meet her boyfriend and boss in the kitchen.

"Emily?!" Hotch asked incredulously. Emily smiled at her former boss and friend.

"Hello." She said with her smile still on her face. It did not take Spencer too long to pull the brunette into a tight hug.

"Thank you for coming. You made it even better." Spencer whispered into his friend's ear.

"Anytime, Spencer, you know I am always here for you." Emily promised. Spencer smiled.

"I missed you, Emily." Spencer said as he pulled back. Emily just laughed because Spencer seemed so much happier and more comfortable around people, and she knew exactly why. He had finally gotten JJ. After many nights that she had spent with him at the bar after a long case where he would try to accept his damned love life, he had gotten the woman he loved more than anything in the world. If only JJ could know the way he talked about her. Emily, on the other hand, had a whole other set of love life problems. She looked over at Hotch who smiled and hugged her.

"Emily, it's so nice to see you." Hotch said with an actual genuine smile on his face.

"It feels like it has been forever, but I just saw you guys at the hospital." Emily pointed out with a small chuckle.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Emily asked JJ and Spencer as they were frantically shuffling around the kitchen trying to do last minute preparations.

"Me as well." Hotch offered once again.

"Will one of you go check on the boys? I do not want them to wander off outside. Dinner will be served as soon as everyone gets here." JJ asked.

"Sure. I haven't seen either of them in so long." Emily said almost excitedly as she exited the kitchen.

"God, I miss working with her." JJ said as she started pouring wine into the wine glasses. The doorbell rang again.

"Hello, Pen and Derek! Dinner will be served as soon as Dave and Alex get here. Make yourselves at home, but there is a surprise in the living room." JJ hinted as she went to finish pouring the wine.

"Oh, thank you, Aaron." JJ thanked her boss when she noticed he had finished pouring the wine for her. Normally, when they were off official duty, the team called each other by their first name and saved the last name basis for business to help humanize their relationship. JJ sat placed a wine glass at each place on the table. She placed two extra wine glasses at the kids' table, but she poured grape juice into those.

"The kids deserve a special treat as well." JJ told Spencer as he shot her a weird look. The doorbell rang again. Before JJ could make her way to the door, she was interrupted by Spencer who had just finished preparing the steak and food on plates.

"Allow me." Spencer said as he went to answer the door.

"Hello Alex. Thank you for coming. Uh, JJ and Hotc-Aaron are in t-the kitchen, and Penelope and Derek are in the living room which is just straight ahead. Our former coworker Emily is here, and I am excited for you to meet her. You will love her. She is visiting from England. I hope that's okay. Please, make yourself at home. Dinner will be served as soon as Rossi gets here." Spencer rambled, and Alex chuckled.

"It is good to see you too, Spencer." Alex smiled as she patted his shoulder. Alex decided to join Aaron and JJ in the kitchen.

"Hey, Alex. Dinner is ready. Dave just likes to be "fashionably" late to these get-togethers." JJ said with a smile and a roll of her eyes. Despite her words, the doorbell rung.

"Dinner time." JJ sing-songed as she made her way to the door.

"Hello, Dave. Nice to see you. We are all about to eat, so you can follow me into the kitchen." JJ's voice was rushed; she was really hungry. Preparing the food was torture when she couldn't immediately eat it. Dave followed her into the kitchen. No one noticed, but Emily and Dave shared a secret smirk when their eyes met.

"Thank you everyone for coming. It means a lot to JJ and I. Before we eat, JJ and I would like to tell you, since you are our closest friends, that we are pursuing a relationship." Spencer stuttered. Derek immediately busted out laughing. Eventually, everyone at the table except for JJ and Spencer was laughing. Spencer and JJ looked horrified while Henry smiled ear to ear.

"What's so funny?" Spencer asked worriedly to JJ. She just shrugged and took a bite of her steak. She practically moaned when she finally put the piece of delicious food in her mouth.

"God, Spencer, that's so good." She said. Everyone was still laughing.

"I told you I could cook." Spencer said with a rare smirk. She just shrugged and took another bite.

"Alright, alright. What is so funny?" Spencer's insecurity was pouring out into his words.

"We are a team of profilers. We have known this for a while." Dave told Spencer. Spencer's mouth immediately made an "O" shape.

"Well, at least my man is finally gettin' some." Derek said with a slap on Spencer's back. Spencer, Emily, JJ, and Aaron all froze at Derek's words. At first, Derek was confused, but then he realized what he had said.

"Oh, god." Derek moaned as he stood up to exit the kitchen.

"So, Spencer did a great job on this steak." JJ commented trying to get the elephant out of the room. Plus, the people who were not aware of what JJ went through were confused and suspicious.

"I mean, I could do better, but you did pretty well, kid." Dave said as he himself took another bite.

"JJ, you did a fantastic job with the macaroni and cheese." Alex said as she herself took a bite of the pasta.

"Thank you, peaches, for the vegetarian route." Penelope said as she reveled in her salad.

"Anything for you, Pen." JJ said with a smile.

"Exactly how long have you two been together?" Alex asked JJ. Spencer stood up to go talk to Derek after squeezing JJ's hand under the table.

"Unofficially about two months." JJ said with a proud smile while watching Spencer leave.

"Spencer, I am so sorry." Derek started pacing the back porch. Spencer had escorted him to it so they could talk in private.

"It is not a big deal, Derek, I assure you, but _please_ watch that around her. She still is having a hard time…" Spencer trailed.

"I can imagine, man, I'm sorry. I feel like such a dick, but you two really haven't done anything? And she's been living in _your_ apartment for _how_ long?" Derek asked incredulously.

"I don't know if she will ever be ready…" Spencer became discouraged.

"This sucks for her. She didn't deserve this. She is one of the best people I know, and _he_ had to go and fuck everything up for you two." Derek was raging.

"Please, Derek. Kids. Language. I do agree, though. It's really hard because I want to, but I can't. Plus, when she finally is ready, I am so inexperienced in _that_ area;I don't want to screw up. I love her, Derek, and I don't know what to do." Spencer said as he plumped down on a chair.

"You aren't a virgin, are you?" Derek asked.

"Not exactly. I've only been with one girl one time, and that was back at Caltech. I am pretty sure it was only out of pity, too." Spencer admitted. It was finally nice to admit his fears out loud to his surrogate brother.

"Listen, man, I think that you are going to be fine. It is going to take time. Hell, JJ has been through so much this year that who knows how long it may take her. The thing is, you love her so much that eventually everything will work itself out. As you know, sex isn't the most important aspect of a relationship, but it is an important one. You two will make it. Just give her more time and _be there for her_. Like you have been." Derek advised.

"Thank you, Derek. You're always there for me, and I appreciate you so much. I do love her, too, more than anything in the world." Spencer rarely admitted out loud. He swallowed thickly and licked his lips after the statement. They both made their way back.

"Anyway, while you two _rudely_ walked off," Penelope scolded to the two men who were sitting down. "Dave said that he had a very important announcement to make." JJ rubbed Spencer's thigh under the table for comfort, and he took her hand tightly.

"As you know, I have many connections in the hiring part of the bureau, and it turns out they want to add an extra agent to their most successful team, which is the BAU obviously. After many phone calls and tons of paperwork, I have secured the spot for our very own Mrs… Prentiss." Dave said with a smile. He and Emily shared a smirk again more publicly.

"You're coming back?" JJ asked excitedly.

"I am coming back." Emily promised her friend. Everyone had a big smile on their face, even Alex who had befriended Emily quickly.

"When is it official?" Spencer asked Emily.

"It is effective in ten days." Emily confirmed. Aaron rose to his feet.

"I propose a toast. This year, we have been through hell and back as a team… as a family," Aaron was interrupted by many 'amens'. "Still, we kick unsub ass, and we have moments like these. I want to propose a toast to each of you. Spencer, who is intelligent and witty but always a loyal and understanding friend. JJ, who is compassionate and empathetic but can surprisingly do a fair amount of ass kicking despite her good nature. She will do anything in her power to be there for you. Derek, who is goofy and aggressive but an amazing listener when you need him. Penelope, who is radiant and lively and will make you laugh no matter how rough your day is going. Emily, who is resourceful and generous and will cross the world, quite literally, with one call. Dave, who is charismatic and quite arrogant about his cooking but offers some of the best advice. Alex, who is new to the family, but is wise and nurturing, and will be there for you no matter what time of day. I am so proud to be this team leader, and I am so proud of everyone sitting at this table. Please, toast this hard-working team." Everyone clanked their glasses together and shared a smile.

"I am not _arrogant_ about my cooking. I just now how to nurture the food into perfection and want everyone to be aware of that." Dave said pointedly as he took another sip of wine. Everyone just chuckled and enjoyed the rest of their meal. The team just shook their heads an snickered.

"Mommy, is Emily moving back?" Henry asked as he ran to stand between JJ and Spencer.

"Yes, my love, she is." JJ said with a big smile as the words sank in. Henry ran over and surprised Emily by throwing his arms around her. Emily gasped and returned the hug tightly with a smile.

"Who wants pie?" Spencer asked as he pulled the Dulce de Leche pie from the oven. The rest of the night was spent celebrating the team and all they had accomplished.

"That was a great idea, Spencer. We shall do this more often." Aaron said with a small, tight-lipped smile.

"I enjoyed it. Thank you for helping clean up." Spencer said as his boss and his sleeping boy left the apartment.

"Baby." JJ said as she found Spencer in front of the front door.

"Yes?" Spencer asked.

"That was a great idea." JJ said with a kiss on Spencer's cheek. Spencer immediately turned to face JJ, his arms wrapping tightly around her waist.

"Mmm I love you, JJ." Spencer moaned into her ear. This sent a pang in JJ's heart.

"We need to talk, Spence." JJ said as she grabbed his hand and pulled him to the sofa. She sat really close to him and played with his hair.

"First of all, I love you. I love you more than I have loved anyone in my life, and I don't want you to ever doubt that." JJ promised Spencer, who shot her a weird look.

"Spencer, I do want you to ' _get some.'_ I love you, and I want to show you that." JJ said. Spencer swallowed thickly.

"JJ, please stop. Derek didn't mean anything by it, and this doesn't change anything. I promise you, JJ, everything will work itself out. It is going to happen when it happens. I don't need to ' _get some'_ to be happy. All I need is you." Spencer admitted as he swallowed thickly and licked his lips.

"I love you, Spence." JJ said as she laid her head down on his lap.

"You and Henry are my entire world, JJ." Spencer admitted as he pulled her against his chest.

"I don't want him to leave in two days." JJ admitted to Spencer. He sighed.

"I know baby, but Henry needs his father. Will and Henry will have a good time, and we need to find a permanent place for Henry to live while he's gone." Spencer reminded her as he played with her hair.

"He's just never been away from me for so long." JJ groaned.

"I know, my love." Spencer said as he kissed the side of her neck lightly. JJ smiled.

"Take me to bed?" JJ asked as she wrapped her hands around his neck. Spencer obediently picked her up and carried her into his bed. He laid down beside her and pulled her into him.

"I love you." They said simultaneously for the first time, and it was like the stars had finally aligned. They were going to be okay. Their jobs and friends were okay with them, and they smiled in each other's arms. For the first time in what seemed like forever, they were both genuinely happy.

 **Author's Note: Cheesy? Yes. A filler chapter? Debatable. Fluffy? To the max. I had the hardest time writing this. Please leave a review on what you think.**

 _ **I'M BRINGING EMILY PRENTISS BACK!**_ **(Because they should have done this on the show.) Since this is an angst-theme, there is several problems that will arise. I am just allowing them to revel in their happiness for a little while.**

 **Review? Follow? Favorite? It helps me write better chapters! (No, seriously, it really does)!**


	12. Chapter 12: Touch and Go

Chapter 12: Touch and Go

 **Author's Note: Thank you** _ **so**_ **much for all of the reviews, follows, and favorites. Every review means so much.**

"Do you have everything packed?" JJ asked Henry, but the question was more directed toward Spencer. Henry gave his mother a big smile.

"Yes mommy. I brought almost allll of my clothes!" Henry gushed. Spencer ruffled Henry's hair.

"He's all packed." Spencer told JJ who sat her phone down on the counter. Spencer tried to profile JJ's mood as she let out a deep breath. He instantly picked up on what she needed and wrapped his long arms around her slim waist.

"He's going to be fine, my love." Spencer whispered in JJ's ear as she sighed and nodded.

"Alright, baby. Let's go to the airport." JJ said as she offered her son her hand.

"Can Spencer come too?" Henry asked his mother.

"Yes, Spencer can come." JJ said as she surprised Spencer by grabbing his hand. Spencer smiled down at the two of him.

"Alright, buddy. Are you ready to go?" Spencer asked his godson as he looked down at the two people he loved most in the world. Henry gave an excited nod.

"Alright, let's go." JJ said as she grabbed her purse off the counter and walked out of the door with her two boys. She stifled her tears as she closed the front door, but Spencer's thumb comfortingly rubbed circles on top of hers. She squeezed his hand in response.

"I am so excited. Daddy said we could go fishing in the real ocean! He said that h-he has a friend in a band!" Henry talked a mile a minute as Spencer drove them to the airport, and Spencer talked with him while JJ listened intently. When Spencer pulled in, JJ took a deep breath before exiting the car. Spencer helped Henry out and grabbed his bags. He also took JJ's hand knowing she needed the comfort. When Henry finished baggage claim, security, and customs, they were waiting to board.

"Hi, you must be the Jareau clan." A tall brunette flight attendant said as she approached the trio.

"That would be us." JJ responded.

"And I presume that this is Henry LaMontagne?" The flight attendant asked JJ.

"Yes. He is going to New Orleans." JJ stated.

"Hello, Henry. I am going to take care of you on the plane." The brunette told Henry with a smile, and Henry smiled adorably back.

"Do you two have any questions?" The flight attendant asked JJ and Spencer.

"No, we are good." JJ said with a small smile. The flight attendant nodded.

"Alright. We will be boarding in five minutes, and he will be the first one on. I will personally come and get him to walk him to the plane." She said as she walked back to behind the counter.

"Alright, Henry, you be on your best behavior for your father, and you call me as often as you want." JJ instructed her son after she got down on both of her knees to be at his level.

"I will, mommy, I promise." Henry swore as he took his mother into a tight hug.

"I love you, mommy." Henry said.

"I love you too, baby." JJ said with tears starting to fall down her face.

"Why crying?" Henry asked his mother.

"I am going to miss you." JJ laughed at her concerned son.

"I am going to miss you too, mommy." Henry promised.

"You are going to have so much fun, buddy. I can't wait to hear all about it." Spencer said as he joined them on his knees.

"I am going to miss you too, Spence." Henry said as he surprised Spencer by wrapping his arms around his neck.

"I love you, buddy." Spencer's voice was hesitant and shaky.

"I love you, Spence." Henry said with a smile, and JJ gasped in surprise.

"Henry, make sure you wear sunscreen. I don't want you sunburned." JJ warned her son.

"Yes ma'am, mommy." Henry said with an adorable nod.

"You have fun with daddy. Please don't forget to call. I love you." JJ pulled her son into a tight hug.

"I love you too, mommy. You and Spencer have fun too." Henry said with a giggle. Henry hugged them both, and the flight attendant came to get Henry. They walked onto the plane, but Henry stopped right before he got on to wave one more time to his mother and Spencer. JJ watched with a giant heartache as the plane took off minutes after. Spencer comfortingly rubbed her back. She leaned into his side with a big sigh.

"Take me home, Spence?" JJ asked as she laced her fingers with him. He nodded, and they walked out of the airport.

"Wow, it's so oddly quiet." JJ commented as she walked into her home for the second time in a while. They had to go back to the house to get everything Henry would need for Will's. She looked around her house that was her home not too long ago. Now, it just felt wrong.

"Why did we come here again?" Spencer asked nervously as he scratched the back of his neck.

"Because, we are going out tonight, and the majority of my wardrobe is still here." JJ stated nonchalantly.

"W-we a-are?" Spencer stuttered. He didn't know why he was so nervous.

"Yes, baby. We are. _You_ deserve it." JJ said with a smile as she sauntered up towards him.

"I-I do?" Spencer was in utter disbelief and he didn't fully understand why. JJ locked her eyes with his.

"Of course." JJ whispered against his lips. He took in a sharp breath before she claimed his lips dominantly. Spencer smirked against her lips, immediately picking up on the game she had been playing with him for the last few minutes. He dominantly pushed took control by slamming her up against the wall. JJ moaned loudly in approval as the side of him she had been trying to lure out finally made its appearance. She gasped as his hand traveled down the length of the torso and stopped at her thighs to pick her up. She obediently wrapped her legs around his waist, and he chuckled against her.

"Go get ready, my love." Spencer said as she lowered herself off of him. She smiled and weaved herself out from between him and the wall.

"You can go get ready yourself, Spence. You don't have to stay and wait on me." JJ reminded him from the door of her bedroom. JJ actually preferred for him to leave so that she could get ready.

"I might do that. I haven't showered yet today." Spencer said as he walked up to her. Spencer's lips met hers in goodbye, and he walked out the door. JJ sighed as she opened the door of her room for the first time in a while. Everything was exactly as she left it. She made her way to the shower and quickly took one, glad she left her products there. She shaved and washed her hair thoroughly. She sang softly, and she dried and curled her hair. She sighed to her naked form that was barely recognizable in the mirror. On the Brightside, she hadn't had an episode in a week. On the contrary, this house brought an eerie feeling to her, and it made even her reflection unrecognizable. She had changed so much since the last time she had been in this bathroom. She smiled to herself when she realized how much she had accomplished and overcome and the fact that she was finally achieving genuine happiness. She sang softly to herself as she put on her makeup. She was relieved when she opened up her drawer that she finally had all of her clothes. She pulled out her favorite bra and panty set, finally happy she could be with her favorite clothes again. She decided to wear a black dress that hit just above the knees. This was her favorite dress she owned; it had been a while since she'd had an excuse to wear it. She smiled at her reflection in the mirror as she finally could see a resemblance of herself. Her caramel blonde hair was in her usual waves, and she could see a glimmer of the usual happiness that radiated off of her. She hit 'play' on her cd player, and she smiled as her favorite music wafted around the house, and she slipped on her favorite black heels and the house returned to its eeriness when she realized exactly where she was. It was so empty and full of sadness, and she detested it with a passion. As if on cue, she heard a light knocking on the door. She cascaded down the steps, and she eagerly jerked the door open, relieved to see Spencer behind the door. She smiled when he handed her the rose that complemented the grey of his suit, and she quickly found it a vase to put it in. She then quickly turned on her heels and crashed her lips with his.

"I missed you, too." Spencer lightly chuckled. JJ just shook her head and crashed her lips on his again. Spencer's hands traveled up her back and into her hair, and hers took their usual residence on the back of his neck.

"JJ, my love, are you okay?" Spencer asked worriedly when she finally pulled away for air.

"I'm perfect," JJ lied. "Let's go eat." She offered him her hand. He gratefully accepted it.

"Where would you like to go?" Spencer asked.

"I know the perfect place." JJ jumped in the driver's seat of the car. Spencer just shrugged and got in beside her.

"You look beautiful, JJ." Spencer whispered in compliment, and she turned her head to kiss him once again.

"I love you, Spencer." JJ murmured against his lips. This time, her admission felt differently. It felt more passionate, more… serene, and dare he say more genuine. It was as if she just fell in love with him again. His heart swelled ten time its usual size, and he desperately needed to kiss her again. Regrettably, she had already began driving, and he did not want to distract her. Instead, he placed his left hand on her thigh, but that distracted her just as much. She found herself watching him more than the road. Luckily, she managed to somehow get to the restaurant without having a car accident.

"Yes, ma'am. A table for two, please." JJ told the hostess. Spencer's eyes took in the small Italian restaurant JJ had chosen. It had a warm glow that radiated all around it, and the subtle smell of lavender and wine wafted in the air. He shook his head as the place reflected subtle femininity and subtle seduction. The waitress led them to their table. Which, must to his self control's dismay, was only illuminated by candle light. JJ looked like a goddess as her tanned summer skin was complemented by the warm glow. She took a sip of her wine and studied the menu. Spencer was compelled to watch his love's every move, and he smirked when they made eye contact. He shook his head with a light smile on his face, and then he too studied the menu.

"God, this food is so good." JJ moaned as he lips wrapped around her fork. Spencer shifted uncomfortably at her bold antics; he didn't know what had gotten into her. He sipped his wine and reveled in the burn that cascaded down his throat as a silent punishment for his racing heart and mind.

"This is an impressive place, JJ." Spencer complimented as he himself took a bite of his own food, which he had to admit was quite good.

"It's no secluded bookshop, but I like it." JJ said with a smile. Spencer gasped as he felt her now bare foot slide up and down his calf.

'What the hell has gotten in to this woman?!' He demanded from himself.

"So, Spence, I was thinking since H-Henry is gone, we could maybe take some time off of work to go on some sort of vacation. I haven't been on one since college, and Hotch is going to make us eventually take the fifty six required days off we get each year. P-plus this place is weighing me down, and it would be nice to…" JJ rambled, but Spencer cut her off.

"It sounds nice JJ, but we should probably deal with the housing situation first. Ironically, my note for the apartment runs up soon, so that will not become a burden. Did you want to move back to your house, or what were you thinking?" Spencer asked her.

"Um… I have been talking to a real estate agent who thinks that she can get me almost all the money for my house if I sell it, and I just think it is a better idea for us to start over in a new home." JJ said. Spencer nodded.

"We can talk about this later, my love." Spencer said as he pressed the wine glass to his lips. JJ nodded and reveled in the rest of her food. She never removed her bare foot, and it continued to rise up and down the length of his calf. She always had a subtle smirk on her face.

When they both were finished with their food and paid their bill, they were found in the car.

"Anywhere else you want to go?" Spencer asked as he put the car in drive.

"Take me home, Spence." JJ mumbled into the dark night.

"House or…" Spencer was cut off by JJ.

"Apartment." JJ clarified. The thought of her house still allowed nausea to rise up her throat. She cringed at the thought. Spencer rested his hand in hers, and she unconsciously squeezed it tighter. The rest of the ride home was silent.

When they arrived at the apartment, JJ immediately was slammed against the closet door. She gasped at the hungry look in Spencer's eyes, and she knew immediately then that he was ready. _She_ was ready.

 **Author's Note: …and… I am just going to leave it here for now. Mwahaha. Leave a review and chapter 13 will be up sooner. Until next time…**


	13. Chapter 13: Kiss Me

**Author's Note: Yes, I know. I am a horrible person. I am so sorry about the wait. I could give you an excuse, but the truth is, I just never got the motivation or inspiration. I just kind of hit a dead spot for a while.**

 **To clarify the extensive time off they get: The required holidays do include, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Fourth of July, sick days, etc. Plus, since they are always traveling, they build up vacation time that way as well. Please enjoy chapter 13. To motivate me, please put a review!**

Chapter 13: Kiss Me

Spencer carried her into the bedroom, and she moaned loudly.

"God, Spencer." The groan unwillingly slipped through her lips. This seemed to take Spencer out of his trance.

"J-JJ. I'm so sorry." Spencer removed himself from her.

"No, Spence, I need you." JJ whined in protest.

"But, JJ…" Spencer began to argue.

"I'm ready." JJ promised him as she gently pressed her lips against his. Spencer tensed at first, but her lips finally convinced him that it was okay; she was okay.

"I love you, JJ." Spencer whispered against her lips. He gently pushed her down onto his bed, and JJ gasped as an episode started. Her breathing escalated, and Spencer quickly registered her change in mood. He removed his lips from hers, and he placed his forehead against hers.

"I give you absolute control. Just tell me if you want me to stop." Spencer whispered.

"D-don't stop." JJ's voice was shaky. Spencer slowly lifted her up so she was sitting up with him. He tentatively lowered the zipper on the back of her dress while locking eyes with her.

"Are you sure, Jennifer?" Spencer asked. JJ slowly nodded. He removed her dress slowly, he lowered the straps first and then let it fall naturally on top of the bed. Spencer's eyes raked slowly over her body, taking in the burgundy lingerie set that complemented her skin tone well. JJ suddenly felt nervous; she'd never been studied so intently before.

"You're so beautiful, JJ." Spencer whispered into the crook of her neck, and she released the nervous breath she'd been holding.

"Relax, my love." Spencer reminded her. His teeth latched on to the side of her neck, and a high-pitched moan was released as her arms wrapped around him to hold him there. She then sat up higher to straddle his hips, and she groaned as she felt how hard he was underneath his pants. She ground herself against him, and Spencer let out a deep, territorial growl.

"Easy, JJ. You don't want to rush this." Spencer's hot breath hit her ear, and it just turned her on more.

"Need… you…" JJ's incoherent words seemed to fail her. This caused Spencer to grow harder, and he let out a satisfyingly painful groan as he weight shifted on him.

"I know, my love." Spencer whispered. JJ's hungry hands traveled around his clothed chest, and she began to unbutton his shirt. When the task became to be too much, she ripped the shirt off of him. Literally. Spencer pulled back, shocked that the small blonde had just done that.

"I'm sorry." She sheepishly apologized. Spencer just shook his head as his lips found hers, but this time, the kiss was needier than ever before. JJ's hands traveled down his bare torso, and her nails dug into his chest as his lips found that spot on her neck again. Spencer growled again.

'That's so hot.' JJ thought to herself. She dropped her hands a little farther, and she found the buckle of his belt, and she sloppily unbuckled his belt and undid the button of his slacks. She tugged needily on his pants, and she was satisfied when they finally joined her dress. Spencer smirked against her lips as he slammed her down on top of the bed.

"Eager there, my love?" Spencer asked as she desperately nodded. Spencer kissed her once again. His hands found the clasp of her bra.

"May I?" He asked her. JJ's eyes locked with his as she nodded. Spencer struggled with the clasp of her bra, and JJ chuckled quietly to herself, which caused more frustration and anxiety to build within him.

"Here, I know it's hard." JJ said as she sat up and undid her bra effortlessly. Spencer looked down in shame, but she kissed him for reassurance. Spencer was quickly distracted by the feeling of her now bare chest against his. JJ gasped as his hand grabbed her left breast, and he professionally kneaded it. She groaned into his neck, and she felt her arousal getting stronger. Friction. She needed friction. She moaned as she moved herself closer so she could straddle his hips again. Spencer gasped as she ground her hips hard into his, and the gasp quickly turned into a moan. He pushed JJ back into her prior place against the bed, and cut her protesting noise off by kissing her. He grabbed the waistband of her panties, and he locked his eyes once again with hers. He didn't even have time to ask; her desperate nods reassured his question. He quickly slid them off, and he gasped as he could finally take in the completely bare form of his love.

"So beautiful." Spencer promised her as he kissed her. When he leaned down to kiss her, Spencer's arousal touched her center, and she whined in desperation.

"Please, Spence." She begged. She needed him. Spencer smirked as his long finger entered her. JJ moaned in approval.

"More." She demanded. Spencer inserted two more fingers, and he hit that spot. JJ practically screamed.

"Need. You. Now." She demanded as she took matters into her own hands and pulled his boxers off of him. Spencer gasped as she cupped him, and JJ locked her eyes with his. Her hands expertly stimulated him more, and waves of sensation shook Spencer's body. When Spencer pushed JJ off of him this time, his eyes locked with hers in silent question, and she silently nodded. Spencer fumbled with the condom, and after getting it on, he slowly slid into JJ. When he was finally all in, JJ sighed in pleasure as he slowly rocked with her in a rhythm only they would ever know.

When they were both finished, they fell asleep in each other's arms, knowing that their relationship would only ever get better. After tonight, they loved each other more than ever before.

 **Author's Note: *Hides in closet for 10 million year* Please review. I hope you umm… enjoyed? *Blushes***

 **Until next time…**

 **Review, please. And listen to the song 'Kiss Me' by Ed Sheeran**


	14. Chapter 14: Thinking Out Loud

**Author's Note: Thank you so much for all of your reviews, follows, and favorites. Here is chapter fourteen.**

 **Chapter 14: Thinking Out Loud**

JJ moved closer into Spencer's form, cold. She groaned as the morning light poured into his room; she didn't want to leave the peaceful haven they'd made. She knew Spencer was awake when she felt his arm travel up the length of her back, but neither of them bothered to say a word. JJ buried her face in his chest trying to fall back to sleep.

"Jennifer…" Spencer whispered into the morning air. JJ stirred in his arms as she finally turned to face him.

"Good morning." JJ yawned. Spencer still looked in awe.

"It is." He promised her. JJ smiled at him.

"What time is it?" She asked as she stretched her arms.

"It's nine a.m." He said nonchalantly. She smiled as she felt his arm wrap tightly around her waist.

"I love you, you know that?" JJ asked him. Spencer looked at her in disbelief. JJ kissed him thoroughly before he could say anything.

"What brought that on?" Spencer asked.

"You really have to ask?" JJ arched a brow. Spencer just smiled and shook his head. When he stood up, JJ protested as she watched him put on a pair of sweat pants.

"Where are you going?" She asked in disbelief.

"Coffee. Want some?" Spencer offered. She nodded. When she stood up, she realized how sore she actually was. It had been a while since she'd been with someone… Plus, Spencer was er… well endowed in length, staying true to the rest of his body.

She stretched her legs and pulled on Spencer's shirt that was laying in the floor. She fastened one of the surviving buttons. She followed Spencer into the kitchen, and she took a cup of coffee out of his hand. Spencer admired the way she looked. She was all disheveled and in his ripped shirt. She looked peaceful as she sipped her coffee.

"I feel like we had something to do today, but honestly, I don't remember. I definitely do not care." JJ stated. Spencer smiled as he noticed her tentative, slow movements as she walked around the kitchen.

"Feeling okay, my love?" Spencer's hot breath filled her ear. Immediately, a surge of desire rushed through her bones. She turned around quickly, and she slammed her lips on his. Spencer picked her up and placed her on the counter. She tugged on the fabric of his shirt, and he pulled her closer to him. Her eyes met his in a playful dance, and Spencer lowered his head to kiss her firmly. JJ smiled into the kiss.

"I could wake up like this every morning." JJ whispered. Spencer froze. His mind began to race.

"I could too." Spencer just honestly agreed, but he left his racing thoughts to himself. JJ kissed him once more, and she moved to the refrigerator to make breakfast. She pulled out the pack of bacon and the carton of eggs. Spencer immediately helped her, and they made breakfast in comfortable silence.

When they sat down at the table, JJ's cell phone rang from the living room. She ran to go get it. Her eyes lit up when she saw Will's caller ID, knowing it would be Henry on the other line.

"Hello?" JJ asked into the phone.

"Hey, mommy!" Henry's cheerful voice poured through the line.

"Hey, baby. How's New Orleans?" JJ asked her son as she sat down next to Spencer and began to eat her breakfast. She took the initiative to put Henry on speaker and sit her phone down on the table so that Spencer could hear him, too.

"It's so much fun! Daddy took me on a riverboat ride yesterday. It was so cool!" Henry exclaimed excitedly into the phone. Spencer and JJ both chuckled into the phone.

"I'm glad you're having fun." JJ smiled.

"Are you and Spence having fun?" Henry asked, and JJ smiled at her concerned son.

"We are, but we miss you." JJ said as she looked at her love.

"I miss you, too." Henry said.

"You have fun, okay? You need to spend some time with your father. I love you." JJ said.

"I love you mommy and Spencer." Henry said before he hung the phone up, and JJ smiled.

"Sounds like we do not need to worry about him." JJ said as she placed her phone on the kitchen counter after taking both their plates to the sink. She quickly did the dishes, and she turned around to see Spencer.

"What _do_ you want to do today?" He asked as he walked closer to her, placing his hands on either side of her on the counter. He thumbed the one surviving button that was the only thing covering her body.

"Well, Emily is coming back today, so I was going to go help her get everything sorted out." JJ smiled with excitement.

"I'll come with you." Spencer stated.

"Okay. Well, I'm going to take a shower now." JJ said as she excused herself from the kitchen.

She sighed as she unbuttoned the single button. She let the shirt fall to the floor. She turned the water on hot, and she stood there waiting when she felt two hands wrap around her waist. She jumped, and she started panicking and fighting against her attacker. It was another episode. She turned around, and she was relieved to see Spencer standing there.

"Y-you can't sneak up on me like that." JJ gasped. Her body was still shaking.

"I know; I'm so sorry." Spencer pulled her tightly against him, and he wrapped his arms around her.

"Relax, JJ." Spencer reminded her. Their eyes locked for a second, and Spencer gently cupped her face.

"Relax." He whispered. JJ released the breath she had been holding in. She gracefully forced the sweat pants he was wearing on the ground, and he eased them both into the shower. JJ reveled in the hot water that eased the stress away.

"Shit!" Spencer swore when the hot water touched his skin. JJ opened her eyes and faced him. He'd jumped out of the shower.

"What is it?" JJ asked obliviously, and Spencer just gaped at her.

"How are you not ash?" Spencer asked incredulously, and JJ shot him a confused look.

"That water is scalding, JJ." Spencer complained, and JJ giggled and turned the temperature down.

"Now it's fine." She stated. Spencer, not fully trusting her, put one leg in, and when he found it was okay, he completely submerged in the shower with her.

"How did that not burn you?" Spencer asked, and JJ shrugged with a smirk. When she turned around to shampoo her hair, she gasped as she felt his lips on her neck. Her arms wrapped around his head to hold him there.

"S-spence h-have to go to E-emil- oh _god._ " She moaned as he bit the sensitive spot on her neck. He smirked.

"Really, Spence. I have to go." JJ complained, but he forced her around to face him. He slammed his lips on hers, and he picked her up and placed her against the wall of his walk-in shower.

"I'm sure she'd understand us being a _few minutes_ late." Spencer encouraged. Before JJ could protest, he nibbled the one spot on the right side of her neck that made her go crazy. She felt his length pressing into her side, and she gasped as he bit down against her. She held him there, but even that became too much. She kissed him deeply, and he took her right there in the shower. The dull soreness completely dissipated as the pleasure rippled through her veins. Spencer groaned into her neck as she tightened even more against him, and he bit down on that spot. Hard. JJ whimpered in pleasure, and Spencer groaned into her neck, causing vibrations to radiate throughout her body. Heat wafted around her, and just before she could come over that edge, Spencer pulled out completely. A growl in protest escaped her lips, and this just turned Spencer on even more, causing him to let out a moan.

"W-why?" JJ's voice was deep and husky. Spencer smirked.

"Just for torture." Spencer whispered hotly into her neck and bit it for the last time, and he finally, after holding himself against her for what seemed like an eternity, entered her again. She moaned in pleasure, and she finally came. She saw stars and she grew dizzy; it was the greatest feeling she'd ever felt before. She was lightheaded, but the high was too much. Spencer wasn't too far behind her, finally coming with a groan of her name. He finally put her down, and they finished they showers completely spent.

And, JJ had to admit, it was the hottest experience she'd been through yet.

When JJ finished her makeup, Spencer bolted into the bathroom. He was pale as a ghost.

"JJ." His voice was deep and frightening.

"What is it, Spence?" JJ's heart began to race at all the possible things that could be wrong at that moment. A dead friend. A hurt friend. Henry. Emily.

"We didn't use protection." Spencer looked genuinely terrified, but a huge sigh of relief left JJ. She started to chuckle.

"Relax, Spence. I'm on the pill." JJ reminded him. She could see the weight being lifted off his shoulders.

"Hey." JJ stopped him. He looked at her in question.

"Would having a baby with me be that bad?" JJ began to grow insecure.

"No, Jennifer, I just do not think that now is the right time." Spencer explained, and JJ nodded.

"Very true, but I love you, Spence. One day I would love to have your babies." JJ said as she looked him dead in the eye.

"Me too, JJ." Spencer said before kissing her forehead.

"Can we go see Emily now?" JJ asked after texting Emily she would be late.

"Of course." Spencer agreed as he grabbed her hand.

"Hey, Em." JJ chirpily greeted her friend through the phone. It really had already been a great day, and her _best friend_ was moving back to Quantico.

"Hey, JJ! I just landed at the airport; sorry I'm late. Hope you didn't have to wait for me." Emily explained.

"Oh, no. Spence and I found a way to, um, occupy our time." JJ said innocently in the phone with a wink at Spencer. They both got in the car to go join Emily at her apartment.

"I'm sure he probably told you statistics of delayed flights while you worried." Emily laughed into the phone.

"Something like that." JJ said sheepishly in the phone. Emily was an impeccable profiler, but luckily, they were just on the phone. She couldn't see JJ's erratic behavior.

When they got to Emily's apartment complex, JJ quickly jumped out of the car and raced to her friend's apartment after noticing her car parked in the lot. She left Spencer behind in the car.

"EMILY!" JJ squealed like a little girl when she saw the brunette. The two were crashed in a suffocating hug when Spencer into the room. They both retrieved from the hug at the sight of the man.

"Emily, so nice to see you." Spencer said with a smile as he walked toward the brunette to give her a hug. Spencer tightly weaved his arms around her, and he hugged one of his greatest companions.

"I missed you guys so much." Emily said with a laugh as the tears misted in her eyes.

"I'm so glad you are coming back, Em. I have missed working with you so much!" Emily's return was another big weight off JJ's shoulders. After what happened this morning and last night and Emily's return, JJ felt more peaceful and happier than ever before. She and Spencer shared a secret smile, and they both followed Emily into the living room.

"So, I am really all unpacked because I didn't really take much to England the last trip there. I just unloaded my stuff her because I knew I would be back here shortly. I just wanted to see you two before the dinner tonight." Emily said as she leaned against her kitchen counter.

"Dinner?" Spencer asked, confused.

"Did you two not hear? The team is having dinner at Rossi's tonight, which means you better dress to impress." Emily said pointedly. Rossi was never one to disappoint, and it was their duty to live up to his expectations.  
"Are you still starting work tomorrow?" JJ asked hopefully.

"I am." Emily said with a smile.

"With this team's luck, we will have a case tomorrow too." Spencer pitched in. He was right; the team always had that kind of luck.

"Serial killers never give us a day off." JJ joked.

"So, JJ, since I don't really have anything to wear, I was kind of hoping I could steal you away for the day?" Emily asked hopefully. JJ smiled.

"Of course, Em." JJ said before shooting Spencer a small apology for ditching him for the day.

"Good. I didn't really want to have to call up Penelope for shopping." Emily said, relieved. They both shuddered. They loved Pen, but she took shopping _way_ too seriously.

"Spencer, would you like to come with us?" Emily offered.  
"Err…," Spencer seemed uncomfortable with the offer. "I think I will pass, but thank you though. I will just catch up on housework and go to the book store." The two girls nodded.

"Well, you guys have fun. I will see you later." Spencer said. He moved forward to hug Emily, and Spencer kissed JJ's forehead. Spencer was uncomfortable with PDA.

"I love you." Spencer whispered in her ear before walking out Emily's front door.

"You two are adorable, but it's still weird to witness." Emily admitted.

"I love him." JJ stated nonchalantly. Emily just smiled and the two women walked to her car to get something that Rossi would approve of.

"I honestly hate dresses." Emily complained as she looked at herself in the mirror as she wore a royal blue dress.

"Well, first of all, you need to find the right color for your skin tone, and then it will not be so bad." JJ said while trying to find the right shade to complement Emily's features. JJ smirked as she pulled out a subtly sexy black dress.

"This, Em, is _perfect._ " JJ's voice became sultry and her eyebrows wiggled. Emily groaned, but she gave in when she saw JJ's begging face.

"Okay, but I get to pick out yours." Emily warned. JJ's face lit up, and Emily submerged into the dressing room to try on the dress. When Emily submerged, both of the women were completely at awe.  
"You're welcome." JJ said with a smirk. Emily just nodded, and she admired the dress that hugged her curves without washing her out.

"My turn." Emily said as she started searching for something JJ could wear.

"Anyway, how is life with our favorite genius going?" Emily asked nonchalantly.

"Really, really well." JJ gushed as images of their shower experience flashed through her mind. She bit her lips as she felt the tingles dance around her body.

"I am so happy for you, JJ." Emily admitted.

"Is there anyone in your life?" JJ asked her friend. Emily froze for a second, but she quickly recovered by going through dresses on the racks.

"Emily, I am a profiler now. Spill." JJ encouraged.

"I-I can't." Emily's tone saddened.

"Oh, come on, Em." JJ pleaded.

"You will find out in time, JJ, but for now, it is best to stay a secret." Emily whispered.

"Ooh, scandalous. I like it." JJ's tone turned playful.

"Well, it's more of a crush." Emily chuckled.

"You have a _crush_ and you won't tell me who?!" JJ whined.

"Oh, come on, JJ. We aren't in eighth grade. It's just a crush; I will get over it soon." Emily promised herself.

"Fine, Em." JJ dropped the subject. Emily found JJ a navy blue dress with quarter sleeves that hit mid thigh. There was a brown belt around the waist to accent JJ's hourglass figure.

"It's cute and classic." Emily encouraged.

"It's perfect." JJ agreed. The pair left the store. JJ found herself being drug into a lingerie store by Emily, who froze at the entrance.

"This doesn't make you uncomfortable, does it?" Emily asked her friend.

"No. I wish people would stop walking on eggshells with me. _That_ happened. I would like to move on." JJ shut her down and took it upon herself to enter the store.

"Plus, when you and Spencer finally get it on," Emily wrinkled her nose at the thought at first. JJ just looked smug. "you want to have something _nice_ to wear." Emily hinted. JJ ignored the comment and began looking around. She nervously picked something up quickly.

"You think they have this in my size?" Her voice was still nervous. Emily gasped as she finally put the pieces together.

"Oh my _god,_ JJ! Why didn't you tell me?!" Emily practically yelled. Shit, it was like the pair turned into high schoolers again the second they entered the mall.

"Tell you what?" JJ asked, feigning confusion.  
"You and Spencer slept together." Emily accused.

"I have no idea what you are talking about." JJ continued to deflect.

"Ooh. It was good. I can see it on your face. I bet our boy genius rocked your w-" JJ's hand slammed over Emily's mouth.

"You shut your mouth, Emily, or I will shut it for you." JJ warned.

"Ooh. That's all the evidence I need, my love." Emily sing-songed. JJ rolled her eyes with a carefree smile on her face.

"But why didn't you tell me." Emily seemed disappointed.

"I will give you all the details later. I promise." JJ was still whispering. Emily smiled big.

"When?" Emily asked.

"Emily." JJ groaned. Emily pouted.

"Just tell me when, _please_ , JJ." Emily begged.

"Er… last night?" JJ said nervously and awkwardly. This was girl talk, though, and JJ missed it so badly with her best friend.

"That's not all." Emily said bluntly.

"This morning?" JJ's voice got high, and Emily gasped.

"Oh my god. That's why you were late! That is… wow, I'm lonely." Emily began laughing.

"Spencer would kill me if he knew you knew. Shut up about it." JJ warned her friend.

"Yes ma'am." Emily joked. The rest of their afternoon consisted of carefree banter and more shopping.

When JJ enter the apartment, she smiled when she saw Spencer on his couch with a stack of books in front of him. She walked towards him, took the book out of his hand, and she placed it on the coffee table. She took it upon herself to perch herself in his lap.  
"Hey." She said as she ran her hand through his hair.

"Hey, my love. Did you have fun with Emily?" Spencer asked.

"I did." She said. She leaned down, and she kissed him thoroughly.

"What time do we need to be at Rossi's?" Spencer asked JJ.

"I was told six." JJ stated. Spencer sighed.

"What is it?" She asked him.

"Just stress headache." Spencer rubbed the back of his neck. JJ's face turned to concern as she took it upon herself to massage his shoulders. Spencer moaned as her magic fingers worked to relieve some of the built-up tension.

"What's wrong, baby?" JJ asked him while continuing her task.

"My mother isn't doing so well. I am worried about her." Spencer admitted openly.

"Maybe we can go visit her." JJ offered.

"What did you say?" Spencer was stunned.

"Maybe we can go visit her? Or just you. I don't have to join you." JJ rambled. She'd picked up that habit from Spencer.

"I would love for you to join me." Spencer said before placing his lips on hers. JJ squealed as he pushed her back to fall on the couch.

"I am so in love with you." Spencer promised as he stared deeply in her eyes. JJ gasped as the weight of his words hit her hard, and she pulled him down to kiss him again.

 **Author's Note: Emily is back! What did you think of this chapter. Please, be sure to leave a review.**

 **Until next time…**


	15. Author's Note 10162016

I promise I have not abandoned you! First, my laptop stopped working, and then, my motivation for this story just stopped. I am going to _completely re-write_ this story, and I am going to majorly switch it up to make it less predictable. Plus, I have better ideas now. "Breathe" will be deleted soon, and a new story with have some major aspects as "Breathe"; will be updated as soon as possible.

The story will be called "Heaven Forbid."


	16. Author's Note 2: PLEASE READ

I have heard everyone's opinions, and I have decided to continue this story and also write another. Give me a few days (max!) to re-read all chapters and make notes. Plus, I found drafts, and this story is just going so well that there is no point in re-wrtiting.

Yes, I know I have made mistake, but I will not re-write this whole story to fix them because well… the re-write just is not coming out the way I want it to. It sounds forced.

However, there will be a new story posted titled "Heaven Forbid." It is going to be a short story (I believe, but I could change my mind) that is about six chapters long. It is about JJ being abused by Will.

Please, leave your reviews coming about anything you like in "Breathe", don't like in "Breathe", or would like to see in "Breathe" because my motivation and excitement for this story _is_ coming back. I love you guys so much! Soon, I will have a REAL chapter 15 posted full of JJ and Spencer goodness.

Love you guys….

10.16.2016


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